Boyfriend has had several gay experiences, is he in denial about being gay?

I've known my current boyfriend for about 10years. When we were teenagers we were booty calls, and throughout our 20's we would randomly run into each other and hook up. He was always the womanizer, a pro athlete, and got more tail then anyone I've ever met. And we've always have had an amazing sex life which is probably why we always came back for more

We recently ran back into each other but this time things were different, we totally fell head over heels in love. To the point of wanting to get married and have kids (I'm not ready but makes it very clear to me on a daily basis he want to have a family with me)

Then one day he made a confessed that he had had one gay experience when he was in college. I was caught off guard because one of the things I despise about him was his attitude towards homosexuality. I'm very liberal when is comes to sex and have taken part in experimentation, I also have a larger number of close gay friends. He on the other hand is very Christian and very against homosexuality (unless its two women of course.) I appreciated his honestly and felt special that he confided in me. I figured everyone experiments and never thought about it again. Then, two-days ago he confessed that the original confession was a lie, and that there was more to the story. He told me he had never told anyone this stuff but he wanted to be totally honest with me because he wants to marry me someday and doesn't want to keep any secrets. He proceeds to tell me that he has had gay encounters from the ages of 15-23. Averaging about 1-2 encounters a year mostly with one person, but also with a couple of others. He said that the curiosity came from watching porn and wondering what it was like to be on the other end. Most of his encounters were receiving oral, and occasionally giving, he also had one try at anal. He hasn't had any gay encounters in the last 4 years and says he has no interest in it, he says he regrets it and that he was just a horn ball who just wanted to get off. As liberal as I am, my mouth dropped. I was in total shock. And his biggest concern at this point was that I was going to leave him.

So now here I am, weighting out my options. I know the guy to be a total perv, who would screw anything with a pulse. He is probably the most hyper-sexual person I've ever met, so there is a part of me that thinks that, yeah, he just wanted to get off. We have a great sex life, he loves me more than anyone ever has, and I want to believe him. And who am I to judge? I've had my share of girl on girl experiences and he's not on yahoo answers question my sexuality.

Then there is this other side of me that knows better. That's something you might try out one or twice or maybe a couple of guys. But when you're having missionary anal with another guy, you've gone past the point of experimentation. He's had several partners, several experiences, he was with men before we even met! And I feel like if he was gay he would of course feel the need to suppress it because of his strict Christian family, and he's status as a former athlete. He cold heatedly believes that he would burn in hell for being gay, so in his head gay is not an option.

So, do I believe him and realize he's not much different then me? OR should I bring out the rainbow flag?


I know the get tested comments were coming, we've both been tested. I'm very anal about that pun intended..ok maybe pun intended. But I appreciate the concern

6 Answers

  • Sandy
    Lv 5
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    One word: bisexual.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 8 years ago

    He's definitely Bi-sexual darling.

    So are you. Once you've done it, there's no turning back.

    Its all good.

    It also depends on whether you both find it acceptable once you settle down together.

    Whether you will both be swingers bisexually?

    That only the both of you can honestly answer to each other.

    Good luck.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 8 years ago

    Lets Review:

    Only had three or four guy partners,

    Only oral or anal,

    "just to get off"

    "doesn't want to keep secrets"

    Denies being gay/bi

    started at 15,

    family homophobic....

    Honey...what do you think?

    Source(s): *Waves Rainbow Flag*
    • Login to reply the answers
  • Jon
    Lv 5
    8 years ago

    He is atleast bisexual.

    Him saying "I have no more interest in it" is a big lie!

    It isn't a switch that you can just turn off one day.

    This doesn't mean that he can't be faithful to you, but he is totally lieing about not be attracted to guys anymore.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    You do know while he has bin having anal sex yeah the anal tussle muscle is easy ripped and will bleed and you can get aids or H I V if I was you i'd get myself checked sister

    • Login to reply the answers
  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    Simply and being honest, he is bisexual. He still wants you but also wants men. Go find someone perfect for you!

    • Login to reply the answers
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.