Honeymoon registry vs wedding registry?
My fiance and I have been living together for 2 years so we have all the house items we need. I was wondering about setting up a honeymoon registry instead of a wedding registry. Is it tacky? What are good options to set one up? If not, what kind of items should we ask for since we have all the household items that we would need. Thank you and please no rude comments.
- JillyLv 68 years ago
Buckle up, honey, because you are in for A LOT of people telling you how awful you are for even suggesting a wedding registry.
Personally, when I give someone a gift I want to make sure it's something they a)want or b)can use. If what you really want and need is a honeymoon, I don't have a problem with it. I'm a believer that experiences are always better than stuff anyway. I've happily bought off of traditional and honeymoon registries for friends.
That being said, when you are 85 years old and have your children, grandchildren and possibly great grandchildren over to your house there is definitely something to be said about having a vase or something in the house you can say was a wedding gift. My grandparents passed away a few years ago and the few items they still had which were wedding gifts were absolutely cherished by the rest of my family. I'm not saying that you need to have a registry full of pizza cutters or napkins or whatever that you don't need - but a few nice pieces that might be heirlooms isn't a bad idea.
I just kind of feel that, in 2011, it might be time for people to unclench a little bit and open their minds as to what is and is not 'acceptable'. The world is a constantly changing place and I don't really understand why some of these rules can't change with it a little bit.
- KaylaLv 68 years ago
If you already have everything you need to establish your home then you don't need a registry. But you can always ask for bath towels, dishtowels, washcloths, and sheets (linen registry) because you can never have too many of those (you don't have to have blenders on every registry). And setting up a honeymoon registry is tacky because it just screams "Give us your money so we can go on our honeymoon". And no one should feel like they are pressured to get you a gift or to give you money. Gifts/money are optional. And like someone else has said, your guests shouldn't feel responsible for paying for your honeymoon vacation. If you can't afford to go on a honeymoon right now then simply save up and go on your honeymoon some other time.
- DerekLv 78 years ago
It might seem a bit tacky to just say "give us money for a honeymoon". A better option would be to register at some stores for gifts, but also mention that donations towards a honeymoon would be welcome too. That way guests have both options and it doesn't sound so much like "panhandling" for honeymoon money. There is an awkward part of this regarding budgeting too. If you don't know how much to budget for a honeymoon, then it's a bit hard to plan for it. Err on the side of caution to set a honeymoon budget and stick to it. Plan it as though you are funding the honeymoon entireley by yourself. That way if you don't get enough from the gifts, you can still go and enjoy it without going into debt.Source(s): been there......
- JLLv 68 years ago
I had a wedding invite recently that had a nice little poem in it saying something like, we have already furnished our house with love so if you would like to give a gift then money to begin our family lives together would be greatly appreciated. The way it was written was really sweet and not at all offensive to any who might say "how rude"! I thought it was much better actually, because I do tend to think in this day and age if couples live together for ages first and furnish their home already then why should I be buying them new stuff?! If it's a good friend then maybe get them a gift you know they'll appreciate, but if they ask for cash don't think it greedy, just accept that it's not good to waste your money buying toasters they don't need! I'd rather know my money was going on them enjoying a once in a lifetime honeymoon. Look for poems on the internet, and also maybe try to include something about an anonymous envelope if you can - just so people don't get tense about 'have I put in enough?'
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- CarolineLv 68 years ago
Honeymoon registries are very tacky, yes. You risk offending a majority of your guestlist by doing this, it's a terrible idea. In the end, you get money, which is pretty much what happens if you don't register at all, without alerting people to your greed.
If you're all set up, that's awesome, no need for a registry. In fact, I would completely forget about gifts and just worry about getting married. When people ask what you want, just politely smile and say you have everything you need.
- cjsmummyLv 78 years ago
there is nothing wrong with a honeymoon registry from an etiquette standpoint of view - Miss Manners herself says so
however,many people won't want to pay for your honeymoon as in travel and spending money.the way around this is to register for experiences on the honeymoon (snorkeling,wine reserve trip,champagne and flowers in your room,candlelit dinner etc)
ignore anyone screaming tacky at you - we are all individuals and we all have our own ideas of 'tacky'.take a 100 people,ask about your wedding and every one of them will point something out that THEY deem to be 'tacky'
- nova_queen_28Lv 78 years ago
Do not register, guests will get the hint that you prefer cash, you haven't been rude, and if you happen to get any boxed gifts, send a nice thank you card after the wedding and either put the item to use, exchange it, or donate it.
At most weddings, I normally give cash and if the couple then chose to spend it on their honeymoon -- that is their business but I would not appreciate being solicited to contribute to someone else's fancy vacation.
- KellyLv 78 years ago
Honeymoon registries are tacky. Pay for your own vacation. How many honeymoons of other people have you paid for?
In your situation, you actually shouldn't have a registry. The registry is for your shower not your wedding.
The concept of a shower is to "shower" the honorees with gifts of items they will need to establish their new home together. It is considered tacky and/or inappropriate to have a shower if you fall in one of these categories; one of you has already been married or you currently live with your future spouse. In both instances, your home should already be established. The keyword here is establish, its not to upgrade to newer or better things at the expense of your family & friends.
If you don't need anything, the simple solution is to not register. My husband and I didn't have a registry, its the first marriage for us both, we didn't live together prior to marriage but we were both well established on our own so there wasn't anything we needed. We also paid for our honeymoon, we didn't think it was our guests responsibility to pay for it.
- La Vie BohemeLv 78 years ago
Dont ask your guests to pay for your honeymoon. That is tacky. If you need nothing than simply do not register. People will give cash insetad
- stephanie lLv 58 years ago
I think a honeymoon registry is okay as long as you also set up a traditional registry. See if you can set up your registry so your guests would be buying you specific experiences that enhance the honeymoon, instead of paying for it. Ex surfing lessons, a massage