How do I gain a Filipino mothers acceptance?
My boyfriend and I have been secretly dating for two weeks now. We were unofficially together for about 8 months. I say secretly dating because everybody knows, except for his family. It was not until recently that his dad found out. His dad didnt really seem to care, he was sort of "whatever" about it. His mom still doesnt know though. Here is some background information about the situation though. They are a pure blooded Filipino family and they belong to the Seventh Day Adventist church. He and I started going to an Adventist college together in September (I am not Adventist but the college is nearby my home, ironically when i met him, we both found out each other was going there). Like I said, I am not Adventist, but his parents want him to be with an Adventist girl. They see me as a bad influence on their son (MAINLY HIS MOM) because I am not their religion and because I wear gauges. I also dont think they like me because i am white. I know his mom hates me because she told him. She straight up told him "dont hangout with her, we dont like her". things have picked up a little because now hes allowed to text me and see me, but she still does not approve of me. Lately ive been making a greater effort to live up to her expectations. ive been studying my bible, ive been going to church, i sent them a thanksgiving card and baked them an apple pie, i gave his little sister some stickers. those most recent things have been seeming to help, but i dont know how i will ever get her approval when she has already judged me. her and i have never had a real conversation. she has never asked me about my major or my career goals or my past life or living situation.it doesnt seem like she really cares to get to know me. for christmas im going to send them another card and possibly make a filipino dessert for them. ive also been learning a little tagalog from my boyfriend, i hope to eventually learn the whole language. maybe then they will be impressed. i also plan on eventually being baptized as a seventh day adventist and become a member of the church, not for them though, for myself. i just cant think of any other way to get her to like me,
- Anonymous9 years agoFavorite Answer
It will probably just be a matter of time 'til she warms up to you.
You ARE making a strong effort and she should take note of that..
- Jimmy CLv 79 years ago
Maybe she does not think you are being respectful enough to her. In the Philippines you would be very polite to her, bow slightly and do the "bless" whenever you meet. Your boyfriend can show you that.
In their culture senior members of the family are treated with a lot of respect.
- Mike KLv 79 years ago
Make good money and contribute a lot to the family finacially; that is a cultural thing that is expected and will break the ice for you.
Michael KellySource(s): Have friends and aquaintances married to them; mind you the vast majority are Roman Catholic.