Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 9 years ago

how can i really show him his behaviour doesnt affect me i need good advice please what things can i do ?

i thought i really knew a guy i worked with. we got on really well and i liked him a lot but ive found out hes basically lied to me for the past 2 years. ive helped him enormously and stopped him getting sacked-helped him with major financial problems but all along he lied to me. i knew from the start some stuff he said didnt ring true but also a manageress whos a close friend at work also knew he was a liar.

anyway when i confronted him all hell broke loose. he told me i was a bad friend and to delete his personal number and now im only a work colleague !!! i cant believe it and im not even the one in the wrong. he now ignores me at work-wont call and has basically forgotten me after everything !! what should i do was i a bad friend :( he hasnt spoken to me in 3 weeks

1 Answer

  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    You ask, "What did I do wrong?" Well hon, you were a little too helpful, you did too much for him. You and I both know that you only had good intentions, BUT it made him look "small" in his own eyes; made him feel "less than a MAN." Here's a tip:

    Never "give" more than a guy gives...

    If you do, it will hurt his ego. That's why he lies about some things... his ego is hurt. And he's trying to build it back up. Trying to "save face." Or trying to save his dignity. Restore his credibility.

    So I don't think you meant to do any of that, but you are wondering what went wrong. And that's it. This is what I suggest you do...

    Notice something about him that he is proud of, or good at, and let him hear you bragging on him to someone.

    And in the future, don't offer to help a guy; cause it will hurt his ego. A guy is very, very sensitive about his ego. So "chew" on your lip or bite your tongue, fidget with your writing pen or twiddle your thumbs, but let the guy work out his own issues without any help from you. Remember, he wants to IMPRESS you. Let him.

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