I Want to Become Mormon But My Parents don't Support it?
I moved into the belief in a god but not God himself. Then I moved into a higher power. And then I became atheist fro a short period of time. I've moved all along the spectrum of faith/belief iin a period of four years. Last year, for two years, I attended a baptist university which pushed me away from religion all together. I felt that it pushed it onto me and that it was more of a necessity and less of a joy to be with God. So I transferred to a public school. This is my first semester here. Already I am feeling like I want to turn to God again. But I'm very scientific and logical. I don't believe that everything in the Bible actually happened. I think alot of the stuff in there were intended as stories rather than actual events. So I'm hitting a snag with that on the Mormon front. I also have a boyfriend that I met online and shared intimate moments with also online/via phone. My parents strongly dissaprove to the point of hatred. They fear he might be an abuser in the making, but he's loving and amazing. (Long story short, I said some bad things about his past in a slip up in front of my parents and they jumped on it. I should never have revealed his past, it wasn't mine to reveal, but I can't change it. However, our pasts are not our presents. Who we were is not who we currently are. I know that myself. I've experienced hardships with an abusive relative and that awakened evil inside me, caused me to lash out in rage and pain even years after I Was taken out of that household.)
Right now, I am having trouble believing in God. I'm having trouble believing, and no trouble disputing, events in the Bible. So I have two questions, essentially:
1. For a year, maybe more, I've declared to my parents that I don't believe in God or that all the events happened. So that's the impression they have. It would be weird if I suddenly said, "Hey I believe in god again and I want to be Mormon again too." What's your advice on this?
2. If my parents don't support Mormonism, how can live with them in eternity? I fear that if I follow that path and I get married and want to marry in the temple, my family won't be able to come watch. How can I accept something that I love feeling (that joy and peace in the church and home) if it means turning away from my family? It may cause a rift in the family.
3. Bonus question, lol. My boyfriend is Native American and does not believe in the same god as Mormons/Christians, etc. He believes in God in the Native American spirituality. I love him so much. What should I do?