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How to tell gay friend to stop shoving his beliefs down every ones throat?

1st of.. I am not gay bashing in any way shape or form, so pls no negative comments.

I work with a guy who was married for several yrs and we all knew he was bi.. ok, whoopee do. After his divorce he announced that he was gay and looking to date.. While this is all well and good, every time he talks to someone, he has to mention being gay, or taking part in a gay pride activity.

9 out of 10 postings on his FB are about eliminating homophobia on FB..

He is almost acting like he needs to prove to everyone that he is indeed gay.

How can I tell him to back off on shoving it down our throats, now granted, if I don't like what he is posting on his FB page, I can simply unfriend him.. But I don't want to have to go that far, as a whole he is a nice guy, and a good hearted person..

And i do not want to come across to him like I have a problem with his sexuality, because i really don't care whom he choses to have relations with..


i do not care that he is gay.. I have a close friend that is gay, and he has never felt the need to keep mentioning that fact, we talk about his dates,etc ..

But this coworker is trying too hard to find acceptance.. I don't need to hear this guy talk about "ya, I'm gay, women screwed me over, etc...) For one thing, work is not the place to be running his mouth like he does. I am not the only one who feels this way either.. So NO I do not have a problem with his being gay ... It's like any other subject if it's all someone keeps talking about, it gets old.

12 Answers

  • Anonymous
    10 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    By not unfreinding him or somehow hiding his comments you are making the choice to listen, you are you alone are to blame.

    Sorry but it is like going to a gun show and being upset there are so many guns, being getting annoyed about what someone tweets yet still following that person. He is talking to anyone listening, so stop bloody listening and his words will never reach you.

  • He may not be trying to prove he's gay... Maybe for once in his life he is happy..... When your proud of something Im sure you brag about it! Give it time it'll wear off and slow down a bit! I promise...I am a born lesbian so I've always been "out".. But i have helped a few people come out and they reacted the same way as your friend is! And also the everything has to be about being gay will wear out too... Think you got something you really wanted as a child right? you played with it and showed it off proudly well that's what he's doing...That toy or whatever lost its greatness right? well im not saying he won't be gay anymore but eventually the public show will get old... He discovered something new about himself. Enjoy it with him..

    Source(s): Personal...
  • 10 years ago

    You have a problem with his sexuality.

    Y'see, if he suddenly became interested in, for instance, sports, you would find it perfectly normal that all his Facebook posts were about, say, softball.

    Instead, he has come to a crisis point in his life, freed up his sexuality and his life, and -- boohoo, YOU are upset because he's talking about THE THINGS THAT INTEREST HIM.

    Honey, unfriend him. You'll be happier and probably so will he.

    I find it amusing that so many nervous hets continually use the expression "shoving it down our throats." I mean, okay, the idea of him having oral sex bothers you, obviously, but don't you SEE that Freudian slip?

  • 10 years ago

    It's sad when this happens. It's like some gay guys just stay with the gay label. This is much more to a person than just their sexuality, he should focus on other aspects of his life too.

    I'm not just a "gay" guy, I'm an artist, a lover, a singer, a dancer, a dreamer....

  • ronw
    Lv 4
    10 years ago

    When people come out they often become advocates for their new lifestyle. It's a natural result of their delayed maturation against the overwhelming social pressure to be/act/live the heterosexual lifestyle. So try to cut him some slack and hopefully he'll calm down after a while. When your friend made this change as a result of daring to act on a deepening realization of who he really is, every one of his old friends is forced into a period of adjustment in their relationship with him. Good luck with your adjustment to his changed relationship status.

  • 10 years ago

    I think most gay people go through this phase after coming out. I was like that last year. I think its just our way of trying to make up for all the years we hid and couldn't talk about it. Just politely say that he needs to calm down a bit with it.

  • 10 years ago

    BA and mzcalyps are stupid. that whole freudian slip reference was stupid. it's just a turn of phrase that she used. i don't think you have a problem with his sexuality at all. i think you'd be equally annoyed if someone talked about the same thing all the time. it's just that sexual preference, unlike sports, is such a personal issue and for someone to continuously talk about it, it gets annoying after a while. I totally agree with you and i think the best thinkg you can do is re-emphasize how you accept him for who he is, and maybe he'll finally stop trying to convince you and others.

  • 10 years ago

    it can be hard for gay men to come out especially after being married. he might just want people to know that he is gay so he can find someone to date. it can be hard for some gays to find a date especially if you live in a rural area. suggest to him that some gay men find it a turn off that you annouce that you are gay over and over again. it also reduces his chance of landing a "closet gay" who might think he would be outed if seen with your co worker

  • 10 years ago

    He has just come out, he has never been able to talk about this in the open before cut him some slack and him talking about who he is isn't shoving anything down your throat.

  • 10 years ago

    OK so here is what you do.

    You go to your facebook page with your friends updates and there's a new option that limits their subscription you get. You can limit even unsubscribe him without necessarily deleting him. Good Luck

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