Is there an online chat for suicide prevention with a professional I can talk to ASAP?

I can't call the hot lines because I'm too afraid my parents will know! I'm getting really suicidal and keep cutting my wrists and thinking about killing myself! I need help ASAP can someone please give me like a website that is live and has a real professional giving advice, possibly associated to the... show more I can't call the hot lines because I'm too afraid my parents will know! I'm getting really suicidal and keep cutting my wrists and thinking about killing myself! I need help ASAP can someone please give me like a website that is live and has a real professional giving advice, possibly associated to the national suicide hot line or something? And if there isn't could you please tell me some anti suicide stuff so I don't do it cause I feel like no one cares anymore! And see my parents will check my phone for numbers and if they see the suicide hot line they will freak out cause they don't know what I'm going through! I have like depression really bad I don't know what to do because I'm too afraid to tell my parents so much that I feel like killing myself! It's on and off, I feel happy but then weeks later I'm really depressed - That's where I'm at right now. I don't know what to do! I'm crying hysterical I can't take this anymore! Any advice would mean so much!! Websites or anything! And I can't stop slitting my wrists either, I feel bad for doing it but it makes me feel better!
Update: @LayLay-Chan thank you so much for the advice, I know what you mean so much about the cutting. It makes me feel so much better! But I know it's wrong it's just hard to stop but I'm going to try. Cutting releases all my pain and problems but I'll just have to find a new way! And I'm gonna try the notebook and paper... show more @LayLay-Chan thank you so much for the advice, I know what you mean so much about the cutting. It makes me feel so much better! But I know it's wrong it's just hard to stop but I'm going to try. Cutting releases all my pain and problems but I'll just have to find a new way! And I'm gonna try the notebook and paper advice you gave! I'm not going to kill my self cause now because my mode has changed. I'm still sad but more happy now.

@Blogivator Another great answer, thank you. I don't know what to do about the cutting with hiding it from my parents! But see I didn't cut my wrists as much as other areas that are hidden. I only cut my wrists 2 times so they will think it's an accident maybe or something, I'm not ready to tell them. They think I'm really happy and it kills me cause I'm not and they think I'm this perfect bubbly sunny teenager but I'm really depressed. My mode is a lot better than when I posted this question so I'm not going to kill myself, I just hope I don't feel like th
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