Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 8 years ago

Do you think arranged marriages are stupid?

They pick your future wife/husband based on social status. The future wife can only get married to their husband if they pay them dowry (so it is like paying someone to marry you) You don't even love or know the person that well to marry them. Don't say that people with arranged marriages know each other for one year because the do not go on regular dates in one year. One year is not enough to know them. Your parents pick who you are going to marry.You can only marry someone inside your race or only marry someone who lives within the part of the country you live in or sometimes in the country you live in. If u disagree still feel free to answer. Explain ur reasons. It is okay if u disagree.

Update:

I agree with you Christina.

Update 2:

Dude I am not treading into a culture I do not understand. I know arranged marriage culture. I come from a culture where most people get an arranged marriage and in my culture. Arranged marriages are a common practice in my culture. My whole family believes in arranged marriage. I just disagree with arranged marriages, I have to get an arranged marriage after I graduate college and finish my education after college. I know how it feels to know that you are going to have an arranged marriage when you are older. I just feel you guys are kind of judgemental because you do not know where I am coming from. Do NOT stop answering because of this comment. You can still answer whether u agree or not.

Update 3:

Don't worry I am going to revolt. I already told my parents that I hate it and I will not change my mind. I am either going to creep everyone who they try to get me to marry out, say no,make them say no, or act really mean to the person that they are trying to get me to marry(if they don't say no ot do not get creeped out)

Update 4:

I totally agree Common Sense

Update 5:

Disagreeing with my culture is okay because I even disagree with my culture. I really don't like most parts of my culture

17 Answers

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  • 8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I disagree with arranged marriages, because when I was 18 I was being forced to marry. I refused as I didn't want to marry a guy who I didn't know.

    I ended up running away from home and needless to say I was disowned by my family.

    It was a tough and lonely time but I at least have my freedom and am engaged to a great guy who I chose and love.

    Arranged marriages rarely work, some may do by chance or if the individuals involved got some say in who they married. The people who support these marriages turn a blind eye to the fact that divorce is frowned upon in their culture, so couples remain unhappily together while the husband cheats - i've known of many marriages where the husband cheats quite openly, the wife accepts it as divorce would leave them destitute and in shame. So that's why the divorce rate is low.

    You can't force two people to fall in love with each other, it's unfair and an infringement of their human rights to find their own partner.

    A lot of families arrange marriages with first cousins, which is so wrong and has proven to produce disabled and deformed babies.

    So the whole concept of arranged marriages is abhorrent to me and is very outdated.

    • That Wife4 years agoReport

      And if the wife cheats, she's punished.

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  • Sharon
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Arranged marriages are stupid and antiquated in any country. Call me an idealist, but shouldn't one go through the process of meeting, dating, courting, and falling in love before commiting someone over a lifetime? I am very happy that here in the States as well as every western nation that we don't have the nonsense of arranging a marriage. I feel the same way you do. I would rather die a lonely old man than to be forced to marry someone I don't even love or attracted too.

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    No I don't think arranged marriages are stupid. I'm American, and I married for love. I have a few very close friends who had arranged marriages, and they have gone on to have a very happy lives. I have known of people who arranged marriages, that didn't turn out very well. I personally believe that marriage is truly between two people. And you truly do not know someone until you have lived with them day in and day out. Arranged marriages occur in many countries, even in America and Canada. I keep my opinions about this to myself, and let other do what they feel is best for themselves.

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  • 5 years ago

    To all the pro arranged marriage, I garuntee that 90% of y'all are pakis and hindus who go and barter in arranged marriages because you know that is the only way you paindoos would ever get laid....lets be real here, you think a HB8 girl would marry a fatty if he didn't have money and no family pressure to marry?

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  • 8 years ago

    Arranged marriages make absolutely zero sense to me. I just do not get it or understand it or even know exactly why people actually go along with it.

    However, there must be some redemption in it because it is a very common practice among those who believe in it. So, somewhere, somehow it is working for the cultures who practice it.

    All I know is there are lots of negative emotions from some young lovers who are forced by their parents to enter an arranged marriage when their hearts belong to other people. Now, that is really sad, regardless of any cultural tradition. Now, that is an atrocity. Maybe if I really understood it more, it would make some sense to me.

    Here is an analogy:

    Kinda like guns. I was always against them and afraid of them and blamed them for crime. How ignorant my thinking was until I educated myself about them. People commit crimes, not guns!! I took a gun safety course and educated myself about how to use them safely. Now I have a pistol permit to carry a weapon.

    My point? Educating yourself is the key to understanding many things.

    EDIT: like I said, I disagree with the notion of an arranged marriage. Why don't children of this culture revolt against the arranged marriage if they disagree with it? I just do not understand why people go along with it. And, as a parent, it would kill me to see my children unhappy with being forced to marry. I just do not get it but maybe I would if I understood more.

    EDIT to the EDIT: Okay, I just did a little reading on the subject of arranged marriages. Still, it makes zero sense to force your children to marry someone. Tradition and culture my @ss. It is traditional and cultural to preform female mutilation on young girls.........that does not make it right!! (not to be confused as part of your culture, mind you-- just a point of deep seeded cultural events which are still carried on because of what they used to mean).

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  • 4 years ago

    If the wife cheats, the husband beats the crap out of her. He doesn't put up with it. Arranged marriage controls a woman's sexual behavior and impulses. If she cheats, she's punished by her family, in-laws, and husband just like me with my own husband whom my parents wanted me to marry. I cheated on him and now I'm not allowed to work out of the house or interact with anyone where I live, except for family and in-laws. I'm only restricted to those people.

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  • 8 years ago

    I don't think they're "stupid" as much as I see they often result in heart-wrenching situations for people who may love someone other than the person with whom they've been arranged to marry. It's just not a practice I can wrap my brain around, as it's totally foreign to what I've ever experienced.

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    You like Pikachu. And yes marriages should be about showing you love someone.Not just picking someone and being like have sex with her!!

    Source(s): Me
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  • 3 years ago

    1

    Source(s): Mantain your Relationship Alive http://SaveYourMarriage.latis.info/?IHrg
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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    I personally think arranged marriages are horrible. I don't even like marriage in general. Being in an arranged marriage is not something that many people want to do. My best friends parents are in an arranged marriage and they are very unhappy together. If someone wants to get married then it should be because they love someone so much that they want to spend the rest of their life together. You don't even need marriage to prove that you want to spend the rest of your life together. I feel that marriage causes a restricted, closed in feeling. I think that a lot of people would be happier if they never got married and just had promise rings with whom they love.

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