Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingTrying to Conceive · 9 years ago

Growing my own test tube baby! What more do i need?

I jizzed in the test tube (well technically a graduated cylinder) about 2 months ago. I added water and crunched up Flintstones vitamins. So far i see very little movement. What more do I need to make my own test tube baby?

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  • 9 years ago
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    Fruity Pebbles.

    Fruity Pebbles will initiate the enzymatic reactions needed for ATP to be derived from the glucose present in the flintstone vitamin. After your sperm consume enough ATP, they will begin consuming each other, competing for the right as sole inhabitant of the graduated cylinder. This should take a day, at most. Soon enough, your baby will begin to take shape. Make sure you don't mistake your baby for a monster in the early stages, because they are quite repulsive.

    You might want to get a lightly rinsed rubbermaid container with some towels, because after 2 months, the baby will become large enough to break the glass around it. You will have to insulate it for the remainder of its development. Keep towels around it warm, by occasionally pouring coffee on it, or if you don't have coffee, urine will do.

    I'd like to coach you through it, but I have 5 going at the moment, and they are all moaning to get warmed up.

    Good luck!

  • 9 years ago

    A brain.

    Is that all the better you could come up with?

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