Help, I have asperger's and need advice.?
i am a 29 year old woman, I'm married and have two kids. My son is five and has autism. My daughter is nine months. I found out I had asperger's technically when I learned that my son had autism (when he was two) but I was diagnosed last year. I told my parents and they claimed to understand in theory but I get the impression they are skeptical. They were in denial at first. Anyway, I have tried, since then, to form friendships again, and one of those friendships failed, and it was the person I thought would last the longest. I have realized what some of my problems are in relationships, but time and time again I fail at dealing with them appropriately. I have a real issue with being corrected constantly, and with tolerating and listening to ppl who I know do not read or research as much as I do. I constantly get the impression that ppl dish advice out at me in particular because I do thngs differently than others, so they assume I am uninformed. For whatever reason it is hard for me to simply explain that I have a different opinion in a respectful way. I initially say it politely, but later I dwell on it. I feel upset that they assume I am ignorant and that they persist in other ways to constantly correct things I do. For example, my cousin in law constantly dished advice at me when my baby was born. I constantly sent her back the MSG that I thought differently, but while she didn't persist on the same issue, every time I saw her she was pointing out something ELSE that I was doing wrong. A lot of the stuff she said is either a myth (to me and to lots of other ppl) or it was something that I felt she was over thinking. Like she said my dd's feet were purple because I didn't put socks on her feet and it was a sunny day, my house wasn't cold, and my dd was happy, so I didn't see why she felt it was valid to nitpick. I lost my other friend cause she commented that we eat red meat every day and I was offended, we eat grassfed beef.
- beetlemilkLv 78 years agoFavorite Answer
HI, I'm HFA and gifted, and far from dumb so I get tired of the condescending unsolicited advice as well. I get by using sarcasm, and quoting all that research that those on the autistic spectrum tend to do. What can help you, and has helped me is Father flanigan's social skills book
This book talks you through the steps of 182 social skills including things like disagree appropriately, or follow directions:
1) LOOK @ the person
2) say OK
3) DO task
4) Check back
And saying things like: thanks so much for your unsolicited advice, but as far as MY child is concerned I will continue to rely on the EXPERT advice of his medically degreed Doctors and specialists thanks.
NOBODY knows your kid like you do. Nobody knows autistic spectrum disorders like those who live it/have it.
I quote Dr. Brazelton a lot (father of American pediatrics)
and Dr. Sears tooSource(s): high functioning autistic mom with 3 sons all on the autistic spectrum
- Anonymous8 years ago
I don't think it is a big deal, and when you find the right friends, they won't either. Just be up front about your special quirks and needs- it won't be frustrating to them if they know why you are acting the way you do. I have grown men friends who are practically in tears if someone is sitting in the seat they usually sit in, but everyone knows that it is no big deal to let them have the seat and everyone gets along great.
- Anonymous8 years ago
No one likes a retard, get used to it