if you were poor, would you pretend you arent poor in front of your kids?

i told the kids we were poor, husband told them "shes just joking, we arent poor"

he said it will lower their self esteem thinking we were poor and theres no reason to tell them.

which ones a better idea. they are ages 2-12 (5 kids)

Update:

i told them we were poor because they wanted me to buy something every expensive.

12 Answers

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  • 8 years ago
    Best Answer

    Be careful. When I was growing up I knew we were poor.. My mom and dad would complain of money and I could see how stressed out they were. I even went to length such as saving up lunch money at school and putting it back in my mom's purse. I thought I could help them..

    You don't have to say your "poor" but express to your children that you have money troubles at the moment.

    This way, they will value money in these tight economic times, but reassure them that it will be ok so they dont have to stress about it either.

    After all, they're just kids!

  • 8 years ago

    Why do you have to tell them at all?

    'We cant afford that right now and 'We're poor' are too different things

    When I was. kid, we had a lot less money then i realized. Mom made our barbie toys ot of cardboard, when our water line froze we had to melt snow for cooking water, we shared rooms. But we had a big house so i told everyone we were rich! Lol

    Your kids dont need to know if your struggling or if your succeeding. They dont need new toys all the time regardless.

  • Ysbeth
    Lv 6
    8 years ago

    Poor is a relative term. I've moved around a lot and what is considered poor in one area is vastly different to what is considered poor in another area. Also, being poor in the USA is a lot better than having an average income in a country like Myamar or Somalia. I would probably not tell my child that we are poor but if she draws that conclusion herself I would try to put it in perspective.

  • Yeah.
    Lv 5
    8 years ago

    I don't think a child needs to know about your finances. As long as they're clothed, fed, washed and loved there is no need for money to be discussed. If they ask for something you can't afford you simply tell them "Mummy can't afford that right now" and look for a cheaper alternative. They don't need to know "we are poor." What is your idea of poor anyway?

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  • pdooma
    Lv 7
    8 years ago

    If you're truly poor, kids know it.

    However, being poor isn't the end of the world either.

  • Sydly
    Lv 4
    8 years ago

    I think something like 99% of people are 'poor.' I don't have kids but I don't think I would say that to them....just "no, you're not getting (that) because it isn't on our list today."

  • 8 years ago

    Hmmm, often a child's sense of security is linked to their belief in their parents ability to provide the basic items in life shelter, food and clothing. It isn't important that they know how far the money goes each month as it is for them to know that you are "rich" enough to provide for them consistently and they feel secure in knowing they have a place to go to food to eat and clothing to wear. All else is luxury if you manage their expectations well.

  • Delia
    Lv 7
    8 years ago

    We are poor. And, no, I would never share that with the kids. Children are not emotionally able to deal with adult problems.

    Your husband is correct. You do not burden children with that sort of thing. It can cause all sorts of emotional issues for the child.

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    Dont pretend your poor. Your husband is right, your kids

    might end up telling their friends which can spread across

    the school, and possibly end up in bullying. I would stay quite.

    Enjoy your life with your kids, we only get it once.

  • 8 years ago

    it's better to tell them we are working class and not the bourgeois, we make our own fate, we start from nil to build a world. we suffer so that others don't. the lesson is "Struggle" and boost up their morale to make them look forward. come on guys!

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