Was this really bad?(first time giving a bj).?

So I was a virgin til a last night(not really, I had sex with a girl when I was 14.. just to loose my virginity though. And so people didn't think I was gay). So I consider myself a virgin cause I really regret that... cause I'm gay, and I knew that. I just came out.. a few months ago. So NO ONE knew. But I... show more So I was a virgin til a last night(not really, I had sex with a girl when I was 14.. just to loose my virginity though. And so people didn't think I was gay). So I consider myself a virgin cause I really regret that... cause I'm gay, and I knew that. I just came out.. a few months ago. So NO ONE knew. But I met a guy that I'm like in love with. So I came out for him. We just had sex for the first time cause I was nervous, cause I didn't want him to think I had no idea what I'm doing.. he gave me a bj, then he wanted me to give him one... he said it felt good. But when he came in my mouth I didn't know what to do. And he laughed and ran his fingers through my hair, then he was like, "you can spit". Then he pinched my cheek, and said, "you're so cute" and laughed. I know he was just teasing me.. but that made it way worse! And my face gets really red when I'm embarrassed, so it was probably red:(
Was that really bad?(I'm 20, and he's 26)
Update: lol. I was gonna swallow! but it tasted weird.. and I wasn't ready for it. So I just got really confused
Update 2: and that wasn't all of it.. we had sex(not just oral), and it hurt really bad:(
Update 3: "You're a late bloomer" - yeah:( My parents are homophobes, and so is the rest of my family. So I was raised thinking it's not ok.. and it's wrong, and all that. So I really hated myself until I met my boyfriend.
11 answers 11