Uninvited Freeloading Guests?

A group of friends and I like to get together for lunch or dinner about twice a year. The last few times, one of our old friends (we all went to the same high school) has been joining the lunches. She usually springs a surprise on us by bringing along her grown kids and one time even brought a grown son and his whole family. The son, his wife and 2 kids acted bored the whole time we were eating--all they wanted was the food but any attempts at conversation were ignored.

She always claims to have forgotten her wallet or that she's fresh out of money. At first someone in the group would good-naturedly pick up the tab for her family or we'd just divide the bill among the rest of us. One time, she came alone but then proceeded to order a couple of meals to take home to her son (he was sick). Again, the same story about the wallet being forgotten.

Now I know she's not exactly wealthy so personally, I don't mind paying for her meal myself or part of her meal if the other people in the group are willing to share her cost. However, I'm getting tired of feeding her family.

In the next couple of weeks, I'd like to take out a group of friends (about 5 in all) as my treat. I'd like to invite her as well but don't want to feed her family members, too. How can I tell her clearly that she's welcome to join us but to leave her "kids" at home? (One son is 30 and the other is 15.) I'd appreciate your honest and heartfelt advice. I'd like to do this in a friendly but clear way so that she will feel welcome in the group but with the understanding that we don't enjoy the uninvited family members.

2 Answers

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    If you're e-mailing or writing the invites, just say at the end 'no other guests please.' and she should get the message. I, personally hate this situation. She's being very rude. If other guests are not invited, you need to make sure and ask if they can come before hand, not just bring them along and mooch off of everyone. I think she knows what she's doing is wrong and that you all don't appreciate it so I'm not sure why she's still doing it. How could she not know? I would've asked her right out the first time and the second time I would've told her that you didn't invite her family or that this is not a family gathering, this is just for us girls.

  • 9 years ago

    **** that ****. tell her to pay her own.

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