Am i depressed or have i gone completley insane? i can't even tell what's real or not anymore?

I don't know whats happening to me, I keep thinking that his guy im seeing has a girlfriend, i keep having nightmares about it every night for two weeks now, i wake up feeling so sad and overwhelmingly depressed i end up taking sleeping pills and sleeping all day just to avoid that ''empty'' sad... show more I don't know whats happening to me, I keep thinking that his guy im seeing has a girlfriend, i keep having nightmares about it every night for two weeks now, i wake up feeling so sad and overwhelmingly depressed i end up taking sleeping pills and sleeping all day just to avoid that ''empty'' sad feeling, ihave reached the end of my rope, NOTHING thrills me anymore, i had the best year of my life this year, now it looks like everything is purely going to ****, i lost all my confidence, can't even look at myself in the mirror anymore, lost my job, my motivation, and my will to do anything but sleep, cry or constantly drink myself to a coma, i feel numb, like my emotions are all gone, i have this phase once every six months or so but it has never been this bad, i usually take myself out shopping, meet my friends, go to a spa.. now since i lost my job i dont have that many cash to spare so i cant really go shop or go to the spa or yoga, im scared that if i confide this in my friends they will think im insane or get tired of my constant nagging and problems, i feel like im fading out in my own life, like im dying slowly, i dont know what the hell is causing me to feel this way, i keep feeling that all my friends secretley hate me/talk about me, that im going to end up alone, and irrelevant. i hate feeling this way, i miss my happy-go-lucky, self who never took anything seriously, wat cna i do to stop this, please help im going insane
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