Can sexual abuse cause homosexuality or affect sexuality somehow? I'm hurt and confused?
Okay, so I am a girl and was abused when I was young by a relative. It was a boy. Well, although I think you're born with a specific sexuality, I think that maybe abuse can cause major confusion (to say the least). Throughout my teen years (still am one), I have been going through stages of wondering what I am. My heart tells me that I'm straight, but... whenever I'm experimenting with my body, I find that I'm repulsed at images of the male reproductive organ. I used to be okay with it until I came to terms with what happened when I was younger. Now I have had many nightmares throughout the last few years and have grown to despise imagining having sex with a male. I mean, I would be perfectly fine as long as I don't SEE the thing... and also, I find that it's much easier for me to picture it when the male isn't white. My abuser was white. Now, I always hear that if you're repulsed by a man's thing, then that points towards being a lesbian. I just don't think I am, though. I am more comfortable imagining a girl-on-girl thing, but I wouldn't actually want to do it. I think it's just because I feel SAFER that way, you know? I don't feel guilty or scared or anything. It doesn't cause any nightmares. Like I said, if I didn't actually have to see the thing, then it would be GREAT! This makes me really angry. Believe me, I would be okay with being lesbian or bisexual, but I honestly don't think I am. I think the abuse is just affecting me physiologically and is causing me to be really confused. I only ever want to be with a guy. If sex wasn't involved, I would be in heaven. Kissing and everything is great. I'm just worried about the actual sex part. I do get joy out of pleasuring myself that way (or I used to), but it's just the image of the penis that makes me sick and want to vomit (and even die). I wish I could do something about this, but these feelings only grow worse and worse. Also, whenever I do pleasure myself, I DO NOT touch my breasts. It traumatizes me. :( So, that makes me think that if I were lesbian, I wouldn't be able to bear that either.
I realize that this may have been long, but please help explain to me and give me some advice? I am seriously considering living out my entire life being celibate and... I don't think that would be very enjoyable. And I severely doubt I'd be able to get married or have a partner then. I'll be forever alone! :( I'd take being alone over being in pain and having nightmares all the time, though.
So, either I was born straight and this is causing me to think I'm gay or I was born gay or bi and this is making me confused about being gay or bi? Err, yeah, see my confusion?
Btw, I was not raped, but he molested me and I was forced to see him naked. So, yeah. :\ I thank god that he didn't go that far, but what happened to me still hurts me every day and it's hard to deal with.
How dare you. There isn't anything 'normal' about abusing a child. This boy that abused me was already fully growned (already in teens) and I was a very young CHILD. I didn't have a choice and what he did to me was WRONG. Anyone who thinks it's normal and that abuse victims should just 'snap out of it' obviously have issues. I'm so happy I don't know you in person. You must be such a joy to be around.
- 8 years agoBest Answer
Am sorry you have been through that. It sucks and causes all kind of issues later on.
Yes you might become afraid of having sex with the gender of your abuser but it wouldn't specifically make you gay. As you said you are okay imagining girl on girl but it's not like you crave having a lesbian relationship. Being disgusted is not that uncommon if you are not very experienced with men. I would say try both, and see what you feel, and whatever your choice is, IT IS OKAY.
And try talking to someone about what happened too.
- Anonymous8 years ago
No, it can't, though it might put you off sex with anyone of the same gender as your "abuser".
But, Hunny, snap out of this. You're brooding over the thing and that's what's causing the trouble.
That sort of episode used to be called the game of doctors and nurses.
In former times, before everyone clammed up and the Vigilante Mommies of America started their anti-sex campaign, almost every kid experienced something like that; it was part of a normal childhood. Seeing someone naked is the most natural thing in the world, after all.
You are really making a mountain out of a molehill and turning this into some sort of "career", maybe because you cannot accept your self as a lesbian.
- AdManBLv 58 years ago
95% of homosexuals were either abused or neglected as children. Abuse at a young age is called imprinting and affects your view of sex for the rest of your life. If you don't get good counseling you will probably have trouble breastfeeding!
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- 8 years ago
I think you would benfit from talking to someone trained to deal with these issues. if you dont have someone to talk to then contact your local rape crisis center they have trained help there for you. in reading your question i belive your a straight confused scared person that really needs to work this out. Get some help
- PFLv 43 years ago
Of course it can. Its a turnoff for any future possibilities. A trauma causes a person to conform or rebel. You either become that which had traumatized you or spend the rest of your life doing the opposite. There will be triggers, such as an object in the scene, maybe a song playing, or a pen or I don't know what, maybe a facial expression or tone of voice, it could be anything, even the object of the trauma itself. Traumatized by one gender makes a person more attracted to the opposite gender, of the person who committed the trauma, however there are a few tricks which might help. For example, if the person had brown hair, someone with red hair will probably produce for you far less anxiety. If the person was thin, a fat person might feel more comfortable. If the person had a deep voice, than someone with a high pitch voice will feel more comfortable. You might have to go outside of your race, however doing so is preferable to living a life of loneliness. Look for someone very different from the person who traumatized you, and that might help you to solve the problem. That’s the short answer. A better answer might be to seek help from a psychologist. This is not your sin. It’s not fair that you end up punishing yourself. Maybe if you read biographies of others who had gone through a similar circumstance, it might help give you some inner strength, such as that book by Mariette Hartley.
- Bobby DLv 78 years ago
Sexual abuse can make you fear sexual contact with the gender of your abuser, but it won't actually make you gay.
- Anonymous8 years ago
In SOME cases yes
- Anonymous8 years ago
yea, it could cause homosexuality but as the person above said it causes confusion