Why does my boyfriend keep telling his family about our fights?

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 1/2 years. We love each other like none other before in our lives (I'm 42, he's 40), but we don't get along all the time very well. On my side, I haven't done anything to the relationship that's ever been too detrimental. But on his end, he's... show more Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 1/2 years. We love each other like none other before in our lives (I'm 42, he's 40), but we don't get along all the time very well. On my side, I haven't done anything to the relationship that's ever been too detrimental. But on his end, he's pretended to be someone else the whole time, lied to me through his teeth many, many times regarding his porn addiction, dating other women while we were living apart, had sex with one of them and lied to me when I asked about it...he's slapped me before, and many other inappropriate behaviors. We both have baggage from previous relationships but It's always HIS giant mistakes that we have to deal with in this. And every time we have another problem, he runs to his family and tells them only his version of the story. Leaves out most of what he's done and paints ME out to be the one causing problems every time. Now his family can't stand me. I can see it on their faces. And I've read emails and texts to confirm my suspicions. So I took his sister and brother-in-law aside, and told them all my side of the story and how it goes with his. She seemed to have completely understood... said we should keep working on ourselves, but was in a good place with everything. I felt I had to do this because every time I had to be around them, I felt like they didn't want me there. Like there's something wrong with ME. I knew they didn't have enough information, much less the correct information to form an opinion, or pass judgment towards me, but they totally did anyway until I took hours talking it out. So then I asked my bf if he could promise to not involve them anymore with our stuff and he said "no problem". Next thing I know, we've had another big fight and he runs straight over there to tell his family again.... paints me out to be crazy... and now his family doesn't want me around again. I asked him why he broke his promise and ruined everything again...he said... "I thought we were broke up, and you were moving out, so it didn't matter what I said". We ALWAYS go there when we fight. We BOTH have this problem. It's baggage and have been diligently trying to stop that. But with all his lies and other behavioral problems, I've not been certain that I can take much more. So yes, I always say I should Just move out... get my own place etc. But he doesn't wait for that reality before he just runs off and blabs his mouth to his sister and her family.. then she tells their mom... and then dad finds out... and it just SUCKS for me. He's always the one doing all the damage to this thing... but I'M the bad guy in his family's eyes. SO not fair. He says he doesn't have anyone to talk to, and who better than his family to do that with. He says he's close to his family like that. But he didn't tell them that day our fight happened like he needed help or support. He was fine with it for over a week. He just one day was over at their house and comes up with it then like it's good gossip or something. It's making me not want to hang out with his family at all. When he goes over there now, I stay behind. Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming up... what do I do with that? Not going there to feel like crud around them judging me. He gets forgiven for all he does, but I'm horrible and ruining his life to them. Who can sit in the same room with a group of people that think so ill of you?
Q: Is it okay for him to tell his family everything we go through to be together? Even after I've asked for a comitted promise not to?
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