Why do I feel so uncomfortable at church?

First off I appreciate anyones concern for my beliefs I understand I can't stop you from answering but if you do decide please refrain from any insults on my belief in God. I do appreciate serious answers, even if you don't believe. I just request no insults. Thank you.

So here is my question. Whenever I got to church I feel so uncomfortable and further from God than ever but when I'm in the car alone or I'm taking a jog or run I feel more love from him and closer than ever before. I always feel I'm being judged at church. I've been going to the same church since I was little and it's not the same. I've tried another church but I just felt the same there.

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  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Keep praying for an answer.

    God is the answerer of prayers. If you keep seeking him, he will lead you to the right place.

    (Psalm 65:2)  2 O Hearer of prayer, even to you people of all flesh will come.

    (1 John 5:14) . . .And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that, no matter what it is that we ask according to his will, he hears us.

    Source(s): Personal experience
  • 9 years ago

    I'm an atheist, but I used to be a christian.

    I would say that based on what you've said, there is probably a very judgemental culture in the town where you live, and it's not just church specific.

    If you don't feel comfortable at church, don't go to that church. Consider going to yet another church, perhaps even in a different town.

    I always felt uncomfortable in church, but that had nothing to do with my deconversion. The people of my church made me feel like an outcast, but again, that had nothing to do with my deconversion either. Some group environments just aren't healthy because of the people there. The only solution is to keep trying different groups until you find one that makes you feel better. Some groups work better than others.

    Perhaps church is not the solution. Perhaps you could get the same group worship experience from a bible study group and not go to the church service.

    If you feel judged, why do you feel judged? Is it because of something you have done that you have let go of but others refuse to? Or is it because the people at that church are judgemental? I found, on the whole, churches to be very judgemental places -- nothing like what they're 'supposed' to be. But don't get the impression that that had anything to do with my deconversion. I'm not that shallow. :)

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    I'm not sure if there's an explainable reason for that, I'd imagine that it's a personal matter.

    I'm not sure exactly what you believe, but if you don't feel comfortable going to church, surely you could find another way to praise your God? If you feel closer to God sitting alone, then it may be easier for you to pray alone? If not then...I don't know. I suppose you'd just have to deal with that feeling. If it helps, I had to go to a church regularly in primary school, and if your church is anything like mine was, nobody's actively judging anyone else. Most people seemed very peaceful and quiet at best, or a little bored at worst.

    So..yup. I hope that helped somewhat.

  • 4 years ago

    I go to church to learn about Jesus, God and His teachings. I don't feel uncomfortable now, however when I was a teen I did, because I didn't fit in with my own age group. As I've grown in my faith, I've learned that part of the reason that I didn't fit in was because my beliefs were different from others in my church. I know what I believe and I follow my beliefs even though they are different than what most in my church believe. My desire is to become part of the Mennonite church as soon as I can, however right now it would mean driving 60 miles every Sunday as the church i wish to attend is 30 miles away. We currently can not afford that. The church we currently attend is a break away from the Methodist church due to a very uncomfortable situation and we are happy there for the time being. If you don't want to go to the teen programs, then don't. Do volunteer work with something you enjoy there. I love children and from the time i was 13 till I started college I volunteered (and eventually was paid) for working with the young children. When I started college I began to question my faith and soon was living a life of sin and desires. It took me 8 years of researching other religions and faiths and realizing that I didn't like who I had become for me to turn back to God. Those 8 years however helped me to strengthen my beliefs because I found out a lot about myself and what I do not believe. Good luck on your faith journey. I hope you are successful in finding the comfort that God provides all of us.

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  • 9 years ago

    I felt the same way for quite a while. I used to hate going to church and even felt uncomfortable around other Christians.

    It turned out that I wasn't as close to God as I thought that I was. This revelation came to me only after some painful introspection and prayer.

    Christ teaches that our primary response to others should be love, and that we as Christians should participate in the unity of his body through the church. If we feel a sense of repulsion around fellow Christians or a feeling that we do not truly belong in our church, something is amiss. I do not say this to you in order to make you feel bad or imply that something is wrong with your relationship with God; I only hope that if you are going through the same thing that I did, that something will strike a chord.

    It would be good to pray, to make a personal inventory of your relationship with God, to read the Bible(especially the parts that speak of Christian fellowship and love), and to speak to a trusted Christian friend or mentor about your feelings.

    I was able to use feelings similar to those that you are describing to bring a renewed sense of vitality to my faith. It is quite possible that God is trying to do the same with you and is opening a door for you to come closer to him and to your congregation. If this is the case, you will be amazed at the insight that God will give you once you accept his invitation. Good luck. I'll say a prayer for you right now.

    P.S. If you ever have any questions, feel free to contact me. I'd be more than happy to talk about my experience or share some of the insight that God gave me.

  • 5 years ago

    I feel the same way. I found Christ after mid life crisis. A very kind hearted doctor gently painstakingly brought me to Christ. That took 4 years and it took one month for me to stop worshipping at that place. To make a long story short, a very mean loud deaconess ruined my wonderful connection/ bond/ love for this congregation. She took sides when my brand new SUV got scratched by a fellow Christian at the church lot. She tried to talk me out of making this person pay for a very costly repair. I had no idea she thought I was cheating God by failing to be a member. The shocker was when she gave me the send off. She said, "The guy who scratched your is a better human being than you. At least he is a faithful member. You're not here to worship God. You are the type that comes to church to look for a spouse. She would frown when she saw me at worship. So I stopped going. My loss.

  • 9 years ago

    You go to church to worship...so do the others.

    Do not read between the lines.

    The others may be thinking the same way as you.

    Reach out.....touch someone.

    Face your fear and it shall flee from you.

    Do not neglect the gathering of the congregation: Attend religiously!

    For it a coward that would do so: and that is just not you.........

    Further Christ had nothing good to say of cowards.

    Source(s): Strength in Humility
  • Sometimes Demons can do this. They can be in the church and make everyone feel uncomfortable and skittish. I would suggest changing churches and signing up for a bible study to get used to the other members of the church.

  • 9 years ago

    You probably Are being judged at church.

    So, let's "re-frame" that picture. Your God is being judged. And you've showed up just to make the statement that, yes, you're on His side.

    He has promised that if we honor Him before men, He will honor us before the Father.

    And that could turn out to be a very valuable deal, real soon!

    Source(s): Revelation 14:7 "Fear God and give glory to Him, for the hour of His judgement is come." P.S. When I'm really feeling uncomfortable, I think of Jesus getting beaten to a pulp and hanging on the cross naked for me and it helps put things in perspective. Every Week I feel this way. But when I let it get to me and don't go, I always miss something that I know would have been especially for me. Every week, I'll pray for you then, and I know God will give me strength, too!
  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    It is your rational mind telling you that something is wrong. My advice is to listen to it. When you are at church, you see in exquisite detail the problems with religion. It surrounds you. You cannot escape it. You may actually be conscious of it, especially at times during the sermon when you look at the congregation and they are all rocking back and forth, in unison, in a daze. You may not consciously be bothered by such mass behavior, but your rational mind is bothered by it.

    When you are by yourself, you are not aware of the problems with religion because you are not surrounded by it. You do not have to deal with the problems, thus you feel more comfortable.

    Your mind is telling you something. Listen to it.

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