Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 8 years ago

I don't think I love my children, please help?

I am mother of two, one girl(5), one boy(3), and it is allot of work but I fear i am a terrible mother as any absence from them seems like a blessing, but i thought nothing of it until i was away for a week and my husband had the children, but while I was gone I did not miss them and dreaded returning. Am i a horrible mother?

Update:

Lately I cant even bring myself to look at them because i feel so guilty

13 Answers

Relevance
  • Anonymous
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Here's the thing. Did you have kids young? Were they unplanned? If yes, then that's probably the reason. Maybe you wanted to do more before you had kids. Or, they're the age where they constantly fight and are loud, so maybe the vacation was a nice break. If you think your husband will understand, discuss it with him. Tell him that you want what's best for yourself, and the kids. Take a 1-2 week vacation alone. Then a little while later, take one with the whole family. (If you don't think your husband will understand, then still do it, but tell him that you wanted to bring the family because the hotel was so great). Compare the two vacations. Did you enjoy the one alone a lot more? If you thought they were about the same, then maybe it's something about where you live or your job that you don't like, but you just think it's the kids. But if you definitely enjoyed the vacation without the kids more, then you HAVE to tell your husband. See if there's a family member that could take the kids for a week. Then you and your husband need to discuss what you're going to do, whether it be letting a family member raise the kids or sucking it up and raising them yourself (or other options too). Either way, DO NOT LET THE KIDS KNOW THAT YOU FEEL THIS WAY!!! Tell them you love them, even if you feel like you don't. You need to do what's best for both you AND them. And just keep in mind, that if you do give them up, that I believe (and so do others) that parenting is one of the best experiences there is. If you lose that, you may become more miserable than before. Though I am not in this situation (I love my kids more than anything and could never give them up), make sure to tell your kids you love them, and make the right decision, which may not be the one you feel like making.

    Source(s): Mother of 3 and 1 more on the way!
    • Login to reply the answers
  • 8 years ago

    It is important to take time for yourself! Some people enjoy being a mother more than others. I think it is important to find a way to enjoy being a mother to your children, however that may be! After all- the best kind of mom is a happy one :)

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 8 years ago

    I don't think your a horrible mom at all! You seem overwhelmed and tired. Honestlyhun, if you didn't love those babies you wouldn't be stressing yourself about it. You must sit down with your husband and tell him how your feeling and then maybe see about some counseling, believe me it will help. Pick your kids up and hug them and then sit back relax and let them amaze you with the BIG ways they show you that they love YOU!

    Source(s): myself and my wonderful husband and two beautiful daughters
    • Login to reply the answers
  • 8 years ago

    You serious??? It's a lot of work. There are 2 kids gosh.... I'm the eldest of 8 kids and in grade 12. I'm leaving home cause my mum says she hates me, I have a brother with anorexia, one with a brain tumor, my parents marriage is falling apart and mums pregnant. We are not scum I mean I've got a full scholarship to medicine cause I want to be a surgeon. And the other two in upper level of school wants to be a vet or a lawyer and we are all at private schools. Don't wing that 2 kids is hard work. It's that thinking that ruined my mums and my relationship. Your a horrible mum like mine.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    I think you just need a break...but it may be something deeper than that...Have you ever had thoughts about harming them to make it easier for you? Me and my sister had to keep our 3 year old nephew and his 1 year old brother....although i love him, i used to have thoughts about harming him...i mean actually seeing myself act out these harmful things...so i took a vaca to a local hotel for the weekend.....made it better for me

    good luck

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 8 years ago

    no, it just seems that you got to stressed raising them and needed time to yourself, you can never stop loving your children, if you did you wouldn't have last 5 years. as long as you not gone for say months, then the kids aren't really going to know that much. they love you. i don't have the patience to have any kids.

    Source(s): me
    • Login to reply the answers
  • 8 years ago

    No. Your stressed. You need to enjoy time for yourself as well as time with them. Now if you put one in the microwave then yea. But you treat them with love. And make them feel safe. You just need some space. Remember to live yourself to.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 8 years ago

    How can you not miss your kids? Spend more time with them go do something fun get used to being with them. They're your kids and they always will be.(;

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 8 years ago

    you probs have depression, i would go see a doctor asap and just be honest with them before you hate your children enough to hurt them

    • Login to reply the answers
  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    You just needed a break there's nothing wrong with that.

    • Login to reply the answers
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.