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Sandra asked in 社會與文化語言 · 9 years ago

商業書信內容! 急>''<

請會寫商業書信的大大們幫忙一下>''<

最近開始學寫商業書信...但是我的文法和寫作能力極差orz

所以請大大們幫忙一下

這個網址是題目( BULAT的範例題目)

http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a151/light3340/5...

以下是我寫的部分 請大大幫我改了>''<

Thank you for your letter.I am writing to confirm our meeting on 17thNovember, at Conference Centre.We have twenty people will attend this day,and I want a Japanese style of buffet. The details of the food arrangement isattached. Please contact me if you have anyquestions.

有一些我有改過了...但卻不知道對不對orz

我在學校的老師告訴我餐點要求的部分要重寫 但是我根本不知道要寫什麼...

麻煩大家幫忙了m(__)m

Update:

那個...我忘記講內容只要50~60字就OK了

抱歉>''

Update 2:

PONY大大 您好= D

想問你I am writing to confirm ... 這個個句子要怎麼寫比較順?

因為...我想留住I am writing to confiem 這個部份

可是怕我寫的那樣不對

抱歉 麻煩您了! m(__)m

2 Answers

Rating
  • PONY
    Lv 7
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    1. Thank you for your letter.

    建議修正為:

    Dear Mr. Williams,Thank you for your immediate response and I’m glad to hear that your Conference Centre will be available on 17th November.

    2. I am writing to confirm our meeting on 17thNovember, at Conference Centre.We have twenty people will attend this day, and I want a Japanese style of buffet. The detail of the food arrangement is attached.

    建議修正為:

    Therefore, I’d like to confirm my booking and I expect twenty people will attend that day. As to the meals, we prefer to have Japanese style buffet, which needs to include appetizer, salad, sashimi, sushi, and hot pot. And if possible, our budget for each person should be no more than $1500 including tax. Please let us know whether you can cope with requirement like this. If so, we’d appreciate it very much if you can provide us your customized menu in return for our confirmation.

    (說明:除了告知用餐是日式自助餐,可能還需告知你所希望的菜色內容、預算經費、以及對方開出菜單是否令你滿意等等)

    3. Please contact me if you have any questions.建議修正為:

    Looking forward to hearing from you soon.

    (說明:因為已請求對方開出菜單供你確認,所以下一步是期待對方儘速回覆)

    2011-10-11 23:31:10 補充:

    那最長那段縮為Therefore, I’d like to confirm my booking and I expect twenty people will attend that day. We prefer to have Japanese style buffet. And if possible, our budget for each person should be no more than $1500 including tax. Please let us know whether you can cope with requirement like this.

    2011-10-12 23:01:31 補充:

    你只能說…..confirm “booking” (預訂) 而不適合說 “meeting” (會議)

    也就是,你是用該會議室來做甚麼活動,不是他們最關切的事,重點在「確認你的預定」。還有,你本來就是在「寫信」,所以I’m writing to confirm就顯畫蛇添足。好比回電話向對方確認某事,還要說「我用電話跟你確認…」;或明明就是正在寫信確認,卻還要寫「我寫信跟你確認…」。

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  • 呆子
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    thanks for your reply about the Conference Centre available on 17thNovember.there will be twenty people to attend this event. if possible, please prepare Japanese-style buffet for (dinner ) and find the details at the attachment. . if any question,please be free to contact us.-------

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