Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 8 years ago

life struggles need advice.?

Hey Guys.

Im a 15 almost 16 year old.

Ive struggled some in life you could say.

My mom is a recovering alcoholic.

Never was there for me. And often called the police on me as a child. Even making up false accusations of what i did. That probably started around the age of 11 or 12.

Growing up i was physically abused by my father. Tried to tell my mother but she never believed me and my sisters.

Now im 15 years old and my father moved out when i was around 10 or 11 and went to live with his parents. He had little to no education and has now lived with his parents for 6 years off my mothers alimony she has to pay him for ''watching'' us as children.

As a young teen around 13yrs of age. I often didn't attend school because i thought it had no point.

If i mother did not care.. If i didn't she did not care it seemed. I also struggled with deep pits of dark depression. Mom brought different men around and, Guys were in and out of our house late at night. Also..

my moms been in A.A For some time now.. We struggle with money because we have to pay my father. We have little money for food at times but we manage. My mom often dates men in the program and projects the anger from her failed relationships on us.

i JUST need advice on what to do now that im getting older. And with my younger sister (shes 12) I want her to grow up not like me. I mean im an nice young woman. But i want her to have more than that. I want her to be happy? Could i go about adopting her or what? When i turn 18..Or what should i do to guide her..

4 Answers

  • 8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Aww darling... Find strength in your misfortune. Learn from your parents mistakes. Kinda cut yourself off emotionally from all your parents issues, mature and work on yourself. You don't need to adopt your sister to guide her, be her rolemodel and help her to understand that your parents have their own issues and sometimes their failings come down on yous. Consistently let her know what's right and wrong and in your own way take over control of your sisters life. These upcoming years are very important to her adult development. It's amazing that you're so balanced despite your childhood very well done to you.

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  • 8 years ago

    the best way to help your sister is to be a good and active role model to her. make her proud by doing great in school, staying focused and going to college. make something of yourself and show her how to also. there is no greater gift than being shown how to escape a bad situation through your own progress and work.

    allow her to keep you motivated as well. allow her to teach you things you may not know but she has learned as she's growing up.

    most of all be there for her and be open so she can come to your with any problem she might have, even if it's a big mistake which we know we are all going to make when we are young.

    when you turn 18 the best you can do for her is to reach your goals. if her home environment becomes unsafe step in and offer her safety if you have it. pray your mom figures out she needs to make her children a priority. i hope she figures out men in recovery aren't exactly great catches too.

    good luck and i wish you the best in life.

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  • 8 years ago

    Wow!...You have had it rough. The whole deal with your sister is something that should be thought about very carefully. If by the time you do turn eighteen, your mother is still the way she is, and you feel as though your sister is in danger of being persuaded into the same kind of lifestyle, then go ahead and fight for custody of her. You do have that right as a sister. I do think, however, that you should think hard about forgiving your parents, not for them, but for you. Because if you don't and you do get your sister, things could go awry. Best of luck in your decision.

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    look up how to get emancipated you can do this when you're 16 and have a job to support yourself yes it is hard but u r strong im sure and you can see about having your sister live with u if not stay at your place most of the time

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