Anonymous asked in Entertainment & MusicJokes & Riddles · 8 years ago

The funniest joke you've EVER heard?

What was the funniest joke you've ever heard? Please keep it clean.

11 Answers

  • 8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    A dog, a sheep, and Justin Bieber are shipwrecked and wash up on a deserted island. Luckily they find food and shelter and are soon settled into a livable routine.

    The highlight of their routine happens every evening. They sit together on the beach and watch the sunset before going to sleep.

    After about a month with no human contact, Justin begins to feel very lonely. One evening on the beach, while watching a particularly stunning sunset, he finds himself quite heartsick and lost in romantic memories.

    As this is happening, it occurs to Justin that he may be stuck on the island idefinately, and being a boy with "needs," he finds himself suddenly and powerfully attracted to the sheep.

    At the exact moment he looks at the sheep, the dog sees what is happening, gets jealous, growls at Justin, and that is the end of that.

    Several weeks later, a beautiful teenage girl washes up onshore, badly hurt. Justin nurses her back to health for the next month, and they develop an extremely deep emotional bond. The first night that the girl is able, she joins the three out on the beach to watch the sunset.

    Justin, being a normal boy, soon feels his passion rising up through his loins, and he decides to act on his impulses. He leans over to the girl with a sly smile on his lips and says, "Uh, do you mind taking the dog for a walk?"

  • 8 years ago

    Sarah Palin.

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    I was teaching freshman accounting at a university. One student was giving me a hard time all semester. One day in May, I announced that final exams are on Monday and the only excuses would be a death in the family or sickness. A doctor's note would be required. This student raised his hand and asked, "What if you're suffering from severe sexual exhaustion?" The class erupted with laughter. After the laughter died down, I said, "No excuse, you'll have to write with the other hand."

  • 8 years ago

    The real joke but funniest you"ve ever heard.The person new to the local train as well as he does not know the local language even standing near by exit to get down for coming stn.The follow commuter ask do you want to get down?The new one told in local language I don't know and he get down to the stn.The same commuter ask why you have get down? The new one told in local language in same manner I don't know!

    Source(s): self.I was the person some 32 years ago to say like that
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  • 8 years ago

    I personally don't think it's that bad (sorry if it offends you) But you did ask for the funniest joke i heard this is it :D

    Lady:- Sir your garage door is open

    Guy:- (embarrassed) Oh, did you see my ferrari ???

    Lady:- No unfortunately

    Guy:- What did you see ?!

    Lady:- I saw your mini cooper with two flat tyres


  • Lisa D
    Lv 4
    8 years ago

    I bought some animal crackers from the store but had to return them. The seal was broken.

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago


    Source(s): yo mama
  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    I don't like Chuck Norris... hold on, someone's at my door.

  • 8 years ago

    What do you call a dog with no legs?

    Doesn't matter what you call it, he won't come anyway...

  • Deep
    Lv 6
    8 years ago

    Dirty is good

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