more crafting-nice word
proof reading- grammar
expand the idea how you are changing
check word usage eg confident/ confidence
the end needs to link to the paragraph before and also your introduction
Change? Have I changed? Yes, I have. In the past few months, my life has changed from one stage to another stage. I have found my true friends at school who support me all the time. I have more confidence in my study as I got other people’s recognition. The following discussion I will explain my ideas in detail as I think these two ideas are my important change in these few months.
Friendship- this thing has changed my life during in this half year. Although this is my second year in this school, I was still very quiet because I did not feel like I was a part school.
In the beginning of this year, I stayed with Chinese friends at school as I tried a several times to stay with Kiwi girls, but they showed unacceptable on their face. Maybe the reason was ’’I am ching-chong’’.
However, I did not talk to them after that time. Gradually, I found that Ii could not stay with the Chinese girls anymore because I knew that they were not my true friends as they always copied my works.
Therefore, I kept a distance with them and I have met my best friend in the middle of the year who called Anna. She is a mature and understanding person because she came from a broken family, and that was the reason why she could understand and care about other people feelings.
I also made new friends throughout Club Asia. In this club, there were twenty of students came from different countries, not Asian countries only. One of my closer friend is Kate, who is the leader of Club Asia.
In this club, there were twenty of students came from different countries, not Asian countries only. One of my closer friend is Kate, who is the leader of Club Asia. We always talk to each other because she usually gives a useful advice for me when I feel depressed and confused on something else.
Now I am cheerful person and that personality which make friends more easily. As I am no longer keeping quiet, I try to talk to strangers and develop my social life. I think choose a right friend is important as friendship can change your life even change your mind too.
I have more confidence in my study as I got other people’s recognition. Certainly, credence, faith, hope, optimism, reliance and trust. That is the meaning of confidence in dictionary.
For me, I did not have confidence and those words never appeared in my brain. Whatever, my life is always changing. Not just my life, that word is changing me as well. In the beginning of the year, I felt very afraid in English lesson as everyone said the level two English is very difficult to pass.
As I was a person has not confident, I found that everything were so hard for me. I could not deal with those things even though I wanted to give up this subject. However, in the middle of the year, I needed to present my speech.
Researched the information, started to write my speech and the day before presentation, I never through I would pass. After the presentation, my English teacher said I got merit. I through she was joking as English is my second language but the truth was ‘Yes, I did pass.’
After that assessment, I have confident to speak English in public because I got merit in my speech. I have confident to write my essay in exam because I got achieve in mock exam. I have confident because my efforts to win recognition.
Confidence, not just changed my study only. It also changed my attitude to others, life even my mind. However, I have gone beyond the meaning of confidence in the dictionary as I am creating the new meaning by myself throughout my life experiences.
Change, maybe someone thinks change is a bad word. For me, change is a good word. It still helps me a lot. I never stop to change because that word is changing me constantly…..
Thanks!!! can u help me to check this paragraph!! i hope u can do it today!! coz i need to hand in tomorrow !!! thanks!!!
My teacher and classmates praised me for my hard work.In the middle of the year, I had to sit in mock exam. I felt very afraid of writing essay because I got not achieved every time. After a week, my teacher gave me the paper and my grade on essay writing was achieved.
At that moment, I just thought I was dreaming as I failed my practice essay in English. After that assessment and mock exam, I became confident of speaking English in public because I got merit in my speech. I have confident to write my essay in NCEA because I got achieve in mock exam.
At that moment, I just thought I was dreaming as I failed my practice essay in English
- ginger2011Lv 58 years agoBest Answer
[proof reading - grammar and wording]
1. I become more outgoing (or,sociable) after I have found my true friends atschool...
2. as a result of getting other people’srecognition
3. In the following discussion, I am going to explain these two major changes for the past few months
4. At the beginning of this year, ... as I tried a several times...
5. a distance from them
6. I have met my best friend, Anna, in the middle of the year
7. she comes from a broken family, and that is the reason why she can understand and care about other people’s feelings
8. I have also made new friends at Club Asia
9. there are twenty of students coming from different countries other than Asian countries only
10. One of my closer friends is
11. gives a useful advice to me
12. Now I am a cheerful person and the outgoing personality helps make friends
13. I will no longer keep quiet but try to talk to strangers
14. Friends can affect your personality and all the decisions along your life's journey. So, it is important to choose the right friends who can be faithful to you in weal and woe.
2011-10-04 14:38:13 補充：
15. Confidence means certainty, credence, faith, optimism, reliance and trust in dictionary.
2011-10-04 14:38:20 補充：
16. I used to be lack of confidence and those words didn't mean anything to me. I guess the gradual change of my personality has somehow and somewhere picked myself up and those words have started to creep into my daily life.
2011-10-04 14:40:15 補充：
16. I used to lack of ....(correction)
2011-10-04 14:48:40 補充：
Sorry again, (16) I used to be lacking in confidence (or, I used to lack confidence)
2011-10-04 16:16:27 補充：
17. At the beginning of the year, I was very fearful of the English lesson as everyone said it would be very difficult to get a pass in level two English.
2011-10-04 16:16:33 補充：
18. Owing to my lack of confidence, I found everything so hard for me. I had no choice but to face it even though I had thought about giving up this subject.
2011-10-04 19:17:55 補充：
2011-10-04 19:18:16 補充：
19. Then the time came for my turn to present my speech in the middle of the year. Friends around me encouraged me to strive for my future. I was motivated to do my best to work on the research of information, to write my speech and to present calmly in front of the class.
2011-10-04 19:28:17 補充：
20. I’d never thought I would pass, but surprisingly, my English teacher told me after the presentation that I got merit.
2011-10-04 20:12:58 補充：
20. ...My teacher and classmates praised me for my hard work.
21. After that assessment, I became confident of speaking English in public because ... I felt confident of writing my essay ... I regained my confidence because I gained recognition for my effort.
2011-10-04 20:32:11 補充：
22. Confidence not only changed my study but also changed my attitude towards others, as well as my perspective on life.
2011-10-04 20:39:27 補充：
23. We must not be afraid of change. Change for better is the key to success.
2011-10-05 17:25:05 補充：
I used to be very afraid of writing essay because I always got the grade as "not achieved". But I managed to hold my nerve when I sat in the mock exam in the middle of this year. I was happy to get the "achieved" grade on the essay writing when the teacher returned the papers.
2011-10-05 17:28:44 補充：
At that moment, I just thought I was dreaming as I failed my practice essay in English. (I don't know what you mean...)
2011-10-05 17:36:08 補充：
After that assessment and mock exam, I became confident of speaking English in public because I got "merit" in my speech. I felt confident of writng my essay in NCEA because I got "achieved" in the mock exam.
2011-10-05 17:41:20 補充：
I became confident of speaking English in public and writng my essay in NCEA after I had got the unexpectedly good results from the assessment and mock exam.