Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 9 years ago

Am i in the wrong in this relationship and do i deserve everything i am currently getting?

Im in a relationship with a girl who's 19 and im 23 i work full time she works part time we have our own place she says all the bills are my responsibility and mine alone and she doesnt allow me to have my own debit card cause she says ill spend all the money so i never have any cash behind me cause if i ask for the card she freaks out over it saying im not responsible enough to have it and calls it her card when it says my name on it, so that means basically i earn money and never get to see a penny unless i explain my self as to why i want some money, she moved 600 miles to come live in my place with me and she left her 2 dogs behind with her mum and dad i love her to bits really but when he came down here she said i want my dogs back as soon as possible and said she had nothing here no friends etc but then she started college and got the regular friends we all get and she still wanted her dogs so 6 months after moving in with me her parents moved 5 minutes drive away with the dogs but where we stop dont allow big animals, she has other little animals here bu she really kicks off a stink over the fact we dont have the 2 dogs and she's stopped me from seeing any of my friends saying there all losers be it male or female friends and i used to play darts for a local team and i had played from being 16 and got a few trophys for it and some thing i loved to do and she said cause she cant have her dogs i should spend more time with her and not at the pub playing stupid darts, so not wanting to upset her i quit and quit seeing everyone, she hates my family also saying there this and that when theyve only ever tried to help us out with lifts here and there and little gestures to help us along but she calls them all sorts of names which upsets me but still my parents support my choice to stay with her, but every now and again she really tares into me saying i dont do this and i dont do that and that im just a stupid so and so and im a loser and if i didnt watch it she would kick me out, when the letting agreement is in my name basically im afraid to say anything to her incase she just blows up out of proportion and leaves me cause i really do love her but she isnt making me feel happy ,,,, any help would be gratefull

8 Answers

  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    You are earning the money you can spend money

    on what you want, what she is doing is control.

    A relationship is a partnership. Any one that stops

    you from seeing your friends is controlling you not

    loving you. Stand up for yourself do not let anyone

    treat you like a doormat. If a guy did this to a woman

    it is wrong too. She is trying to control your life instead

    of accepting and supporting your outside life, interests,

    and friends. If she valued you she would encourage you to

    spend time with friends, even have get together s where you all

    can get together. Encourage you to play darts because you love

    it and she knows it makes you happy. It is all about her, she is

    really selfish. You need to sit her down and address these issues.

    It is 50-50 in a relationship, you each have to consider each other.

    Where is the consideration she has for you.

    She is putting your family, all the abusive tendencies are there.

    She is abusive the RED FLAG warning signs are there.

    In the end it is your decision, but you have to put a stop to

    her walking all over you. She is destroying the relationship.

    eventually she will keeping that up.

    Source(s): Working Professional Female
  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    I envy her a lot. I wish my husband did half of what you do. It is good that you help her but you give way too much. You have to set limits. You have right to see friends and play games. And having some in your pockets is important. You also deserve to spend some money on you. The dogs are not your responsibility. If she can pay to have them good if not so better its at her parents house or you will have to pay for it. For the family, she should not insults them. Respect have to be demanded. And some distance from both will also be good. Your a couple family should be there just.for the big problems.

  • Connor
    Lv 6
    9 years ago

    Okay ... first of all .. please learn to use sentence structure.

    You are letting a child run your life. She may be 19 but she is NOT an adult. Neither are you, really. You are letting this seemingly spoiled brat run your life; she won't let you have a debit card? I assume you have a joint checking account? This is a BAD idea. Get your own account and get your name off hers. Do not share money. Split the bills evenly and if she throws a fit, throw her out and back to her parents. If your name is on the lease, and not hers, she can't force you to leave.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Sex must be great. Otherwise, there is absolutely no reason to stay. Looks like your dart games are a thing of the past. Owned.

    Source(s): I'm a porn actor.
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  • jude
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    its your choice to stay with this person, your not being forced. it would be a god send if she left, its no kind of life to live with someone who shows you no respect and who makes you unhappy. only you can decide but if it were me i would not like living like this. there are more fish in the sea.

  • ?
    Lv 4
    9 years ago

    Yea it's time to get a new spot. That and for the love of god don't get her prego lol

  • 9 years ago

    Grow a pair and split, chief.

  • 9 years ago

    you answer everything with her as the first person "the dominate one". you lack self esteem, get a hold of it, grab it tight and move forward...For real.

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