How to be the ''true'' me at college?
I feel really annoyed at myself sometimes. I started at a new college and I feel like I'm not pushing myself hard enough to be myself or to join in with conversations. Sometimes I feel like I need to try harder, to smile more, talk more and just be myself more because then at least I'd know I'm really trying hard to fit in but it feels like I'm not doing that an it's frustrating me.
How can I get over this an just try to be the true me? I look like I'm a quiet person, when really I'm not quiet. I just have a hard time finding interests between me and other people so that makes it harder.
- 9 years agoFavorite Answer
Hmmm, I hope I will be helpful, but here’s my answer. I actually 100% understand how you feel and how hard it is to be yourself truly at times. For instance, in high school, even with my friends I find it hard to let go sometimes and voice my opinions, because I’m scared of what people will think of me and if they’ll still want to be friends. My friends did tend to put me down and that put me off. I work at the hospital now and here I find that I can be myself and people respect me and my opinions. It’s easier to talk to them and there’s a balance. My advice to you is to join clubs and societies at college, because there you will meet people who have the same passion as you and they will understand and share the same opinions and ideas. Also, maybe find a friend or a few friends who are very laid-back; because there are people out there who listen and respect each other. I understand how you feel, because yesterday I went on this course and I knew all the answers, but I was scared of voicing my opinions; I could feel everyone x-raying me and judging me, but really I was just being paranoid. I wanted to cry and kick myself. I think and this will work for the both us, is to be calm and before you want to say something, think about it in your head, take a deep breath and count to 5 and then voice your opinion and what you want to say. Just try and say something, even if you’re scared, because you’ll be happy once you do. Keep calm and don’t be afraid. Hoped I helped x
- 4 years ago
If you'll be able to come up with the money for to, sure. But so much university scholars are not able to arise with a couple of thousand bucks each and every two months, that is no longer particularly sensible for so much scholars. At a particularly affordable, in-state public institution, dwelling at dwelling, complete charges will probably be round $5000 in line with semester for university, expenses, books, and parking, which means that you must pay $1650 6 instances in line with 12 months. At a aspect-time minimal salary activity, it is going to take three months to earn that so much. At a extra steeply-priced institution, dwelling on campus, charges could also be triple that.
- Anonymous9 years ago
Wow. You sound like me. When I started college I was the same. I basically thought: new year in a new place and that will make me more confident. Shame that confidence does not suddenly sprout out of nowhere. I tried to be really confident at the start and now end up looking like a fool because I haven't kept up with trying to join in conversations, getting to know people and just being loud. I don't have many friends, but it's always going to be the loud people who can make friends at the snap of a finger. I have proof at my high school and now in college.
I know what you mean about the quiet thing. Sometimes I can't hold interest in conversations -- especially when we are talking small talk, like about the weather or what you're doing a the weekend. It just bores me and I try my best to get glued into the convo but I guess the not caring side of me comes across more than the "Yes, I do like the person I'm talking to and would like to be friends, but unfortunately I'm not loud enough to hold THEIR interest."
I am definitely loud once you get to know me and I feel comfortable with the person. I've never been the one to jump straight into being loud and making friends, since I don't feel like that's all the great way to start. I like to get to know somebody first and build confidence with them instead of towards them.
I remember the first few weeks of college we all went out in our groups (you know that unspoken stage where you try and suss out who your friend is), and I basically couldn't keep up with their youthful talk. Don't get me wrong, I love talking and all, but all they ever banged on about was getting drunk, sex, boyfriends and other crap I don't want to be talking about all the time.
There was this girl who was quiet but got accepted in to the loud group all because she had a boyfriend. Like popularity was handed to her on a plate without her even opening her mouth very often. She looked good, dressed good and had a boyfriend.
So that's the secret to that -- you just need a boyfriend!
Jokes. I'm being sarcastic again.
Be yourself. Remember that confidence is a GRADUAL thing. I tried to start over fresh with a bag of confidence but look at me: I am back to where I started, only this time with less friends.
And remember the reason WHY you're in college. It's mainly to get the grades you want to succeed in whatever you want to be. Don't ever forget that. Good luck!