can someone check this please. for grammar.?

It was not easy at first, but luckily, upon entering my second semester, I enrolled in a yoga course that allowed me to understand one's passion for peace and quiet.

5 Answers

  • Alann
    Lv 5
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Grammar-wise, yes it is right. However you can/should change some words in it to make it more "effective".

  • Jean
    Lv 6
    9 years ago

    I would prefer: Entering my second semester was not easy at first, but enrolling in a yoga course allowed me to understand my passion for peace and quiet. It is too busy and over punctuated the other way.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Omit the comma after 'first'. I would say 'my passion', or 'the passion' (if referring to people in general) The use of "one" is rather old-fashioned in modern everyday British English (Prince Charles does use it often) and is actually wrong there, since you have said "I enrolled...." - that should be followed by "my", not by the impersonal "one's"

  • 9 years ago

    "one's passion" is awkward. Do you mean your own passion? Do you really mean "passion", that's odd with peace and quiet.

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  • 9 years ago

    That's almost perfect. You can use "after" rather than "upon". That's would be best

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