Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 9 years ago

Should I trust my girlfriend about this? She hasn't made it easy to.?

First a little background. Im 20 and my girlfriend is 18. We started dating around 6 months ago. Things were going great at first, but after about a month I noticed that there was a problem; she was also dating another guy, a 24 year old who lives over 6 hours away. It turns out that they have had a very serious long distance relationship for the last 3 years and she was madly in love with him. She tried to keep this a secret from me, but I had already figured it out. About two months into the relationship I decided to confront her about it. We had a very long talk about it, apparently they had broken up about two weeks before we talked about it. She seemed genuinely sorry that I took it so hard, and she promised that nothing like this would happen again.

Anyway things go great for the next two months, and it starts to get pretty serious between us. At this point we've been in a relationship for about 4 months, but it feels like we've been dating forever, and we are both definitely already in love with each other. so 4 months in we have our first real fight, I'm not sure what it was even about to be honest, but we spent several days not talking to each other. Once we finally made up, we were hanging out one day and as she was looking through her phone I noticed that she had been texting him again. (No i did not take her phone and read the messages, I'm nowhere near that controlling). Anyway, I asked her about it and she admitted to me that she was talking to him while we were fighting, and that they kind of went back to how things used to be between them for a couple days. Again, she seemed really sorry that she hurt me, and I decided not to make a huge deal about it.

Recently, I noticed that they have been talking again, and quite frequently. She told me that there are things that she is too embarrassed to tell me and she feels like she cant talk to anybody but him about them. Needless to say, I am extremely concerned, but I'm not sure what I can do about it. I know she loves me more than she ever loved him, but I also know she still misses him (a friend of hers told me this). She has promised me that nothing is going on, and that nothing will ever happen again between them. so my question is, should I trust her? or am I just setting myself up for failure.

9 Answers

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I find this situation to be unhealthy- for both of you. I personally, would find it a bit hard to trust someone that lied or cheated on me. I would ask myself if he wasn't 6 hours away, would she be with him or you? I know it hurts and this is a very sticky situation; however, this other guy seems like he was her first love (and those are always hard to get over). You sound like a great guy and VERY understanding of the situation, but you deserve ALL of her and if she's not giving you that, maybe its time to let her go.

  • 9 years ago

    She is using you while the other guy is away, she doesn't

    want to be alone. So if you don't mind sharing, stay with

    her. If you believe you deserve better than that, then it is

    time to move on.

    Maya Angelou has a saying. 'When someone shows you

    who they are, believe them, the first time' Over and over

    she has shown you that she lies, she plays you, she turns

    to someone else as soon as your back is turned.

    Source(s): common sense
  • 9 years ago

    Trust is essential in a relationship. If you dont feel like you can trust her, where does the relationship go from there, Nowhere!

  • 9 years ago

    Rule Number One: Never, forgive a cheater for cheating. It makes them think that the behavior will be tolerated by you and they can get anything over on you.

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    You need to move on, this girl sounds like trouble and there is one out there who will cause less headaches. Avoid the ones that bring drama.

  • 9 years ago

    I did not have time to read any of all that nonsense but if you don't feel like you should trust her then don't! It is your life and you deserve to be treated with respect!

    Source(s): James Baker!
  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    trust her for now but if continues and you cant become her best friend and she still tells him things that she supposedly cant tell you then its time to move on, she has to be your best friend and you have to be her most reliable source NOT him, if the relationship is to develop then you have to take the best friend spot not him

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    True-love is when to want to do everything anything for the one you love, you share your deepest secrets and you want tell them everything.

    NO wonder true-love doesn't exist. Because humans aren't capable of it.

  • 9 years ago

    he's 6 hours away. you tap it every day.

    in short, you're the man, he's the BFF. who cares?

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