Why does my mom not want me to have a boyfriend?

I want to date and have a boyfriend she says no! What's the big deal I'm gonna have to learn how to be in a relationship that will last since I'm in high school and a sophomore! I'm not a sneaky child either and I tell her I can't just be single all the time in high school :/ I guess she doesn't realize next year I'll be going to prom with a guy perhaps boyfriend, plus graduating and I'm on the verge of just having one and not caring but I don't wanna be disrespectful either

2 Answers

  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    You're a sophomore and you're graduating next year? Someone slipped a time machine in there ...

    Anyway, you're asking the wrong people. There are a *lot* of reasons that certain parents don't want their children dating yet. It appears that you haven't tried to find out which ones your mother holds dear. Instead, you've simply ranted about your side of the issue. Incidentally, this very omission suggests a credible rationale for several possible arguments from your mother's standpoint -- to wit, that you're not mature enough to handle a serious relationship on your own.

    With that warning shot across the bow, I hope you'll find enough poise to cool down and start asking the right questions of the right person: your mother. Shut off those rebellious hormones that scream "I'm right! I'm right!" and start investigating a solution. Frankly, if you can't handle that discussion, you'd better *not* get into a relationship that would have you alone with a guy, because your decision-making and ethical programming still has some lifestyle-threatening bugs in it.

    Sit down and get her side of it. Find out what it would take to get her approval, and start working on those things. Yes, some parents simply assign a meaningless number: "You can't date until you're 15 and a half" (we've had that one on this forum). This is usually a symptom of a parent who's scared of you growing up the same way she did, as well as a parent who's too tired or lazy to think independently. That's where it gets hard to work on the actual principles.

    Now, given all that, what does your mom think of your boyfriend? What does he think of her? How do they get along when you're all watching TV, especially if they're rooting for opposite sides in whatever is on?

    If you don't have a well0founded answer for that, then I'm afraid there's another large hole in your maturity. If you're thinking of spending a lot of alone time with this guy, your mom shoudl have a pretty decent idea of where his ethics lie. I made *sure* that my date's parents knew about me, even if I had to go over her head to do it. If I'm going to spend a lot of time with her, I'm going to need them on my side. As it was, one of the best graduation cards I got was from my ex-girlfriend's mother -- Janice and I broke up, but her mom and I remained on good terms (and we're pretty decent friends now, for many of the reasons I originally asked her out).

    It sounds to me as if you have the right general idea -- now start making some specific inquiries so you can move forward. Get mad at the problem -- not your mom. Figure out how to attack her worries, the two of you against those concerns of hers.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    'cause even your mom knows your easy.

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