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*Lexy* asked in PetsCats · 9 years ago

How to make a kitten less aggressive?

(Sorry this is so long)

I have a kitten that's about 12 weeks old and extremely aggressive. She had to be separated from her mother and siblings at about 6 so I understand some aggression was to be expected but I've had kittens before and none acted like her.

She doesn't allow anyone to pet her, she immediately tries to bite and scratch. She attacks anyone when they walk past her. I also have an older male cat that she can't stand, if she sees him even in another room she runs to bite and claw him. He's very passive and never does anything to defend himself. He's also de-clawed, and injured his paw while outside about a week ago, so even if he wanted to defend himself he couldn't.

I've tried everything from flicking my kitten's nose, to popping her on the head, to telling her "No!" firmly, separating the 2 cats, putting my kitten in another room by herself for awhile, I even used a spray bottle for awhile. I've been doing all this since her mother and siblings were given away. And yet she still behaves badly.

The only time she wants anything to do with me is when she's tired and then she sleeps on my chest, and if I'm lucky she'll allow me to pet her as she falls asleep.

I love her and I'd hate to have to get rid of her but she's only getting bigger and I can't think of how to make her better behaved so I'm giving her a few more months before I'll be forced to take her to a shelter (and hopefully get a nicer kitten).

So in an effort to keep this kitten can anyone please give me any tips on how to make her less aggressive? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.


I babysit quite often for my family. Usually kids under 5. So kids are over a lot and so far she hasn't been able to seriously hurt them but the moment she does she's gone. I won't have them hurt because of her.

Update 2:

She gets fed 3x a day and I change her water every day. I can't even feed the two together because she won't let the older male cat near the food. The spray bottle I only used for a week a couple weeks ago because it broke and didn't help anyway. Except when she's misbehaving I'm nice and I never push for her to be near me. I've bought toys to play with her, she didn't want them, she'd rather bite and scratch at my hands so I have to put her away from me.

Update 3:

I started petting and holding her at about 2 weeks. So she'd be used to me.

8 Answers

  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    This might not work for your situation but it's worth a try. I volunteer for a local animal rescue and one of the ways I try and tame feral kittens is too put them in a room by themselves for a few days. Just give them food and water and a litter box and leave them alone. By the third or fourth day they are desperate for attention and tend to warm up to whoever will give it to them. It sounds means but it can be a little pain for a much happier life. Good luck!

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    Personal experience says no. Now there are many mitigating factors that come into play such as are the animals spayed/neutered, age, declawed? Any cat that has been declawed tends to be more aggressive and if they are not fixed then during heat for females and if a male scents a female in heat they can become more aggressive or territorial. Also some become more so as they age. Socialization also has a lot to do with it. If the cat has a lot of positive human contact from very early on, then it's less likely to be aggressive towards you except under extreme circumstances. Very young kittens will seem to be more so, since there is much play wrestling and pouncing going on while they learn how to hunt dust bunnies and toes under the covers. My only suggestion is to not encourage such behaviors or allowing them to pounce and gnaw on you. Once they reach a year or so they have grown out of most of those types of things, though they will still play a lot. It just becomes less painful for you. :) I have 1 male and 2 females and my older female is probably the more aggressive of the three. She's just a grouchy cat. It happens that way sometimes, but I think it has less to do with gender than it does individual personality. The other two are mother and son, but while they play fight my male is the most mellow of the household.

  • 9 years ago

    Continue doing what you are doing. Flick to the Mose tap on the butt and sometimes head. I have also heard that blowing in there face and or nose like blowing out a candle works. I had a cat just like that and I got a cat carrier for a naughty cage and everytime he bit or scratched me I would flick him in the nose tell him mo and put him the the cage for a couple minutes.

    Source(s): Personal experience
  • 9 years ago

    Love and affection. Give her treats for good behavior. Feed her well and make sure she has fresh water regularly so she learns that she can trust you to take care of her.Try bonding with her through playing before trying to get cuddly. Make slow advances toward her when trying to pet her or pick her up and don't push anything on her otherwise she might get upset and bite or scratch.Try not to do anything to startle or upset her and give her time to warm up to you. Don't get mad at her for being feisty, but walk away or gently move her away to show that you won't tolerate it. And in the meantime, just show her that you are gently and caring.

    Source(s): Lifetime of having cats, and training one scared, feisty stray to be the sweetest cat ever
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  • 9 years ago

    Love, care and a lot of positive attention. Usually this behavior means she is terrified to death and she uses her agression as a defence. Dont get mad at her and be patient. she will warm up to you and become a great pet. Just remember that she is just scared. Wouldnt you if you were abandoned by your family, someone was spraying you with a squirt bottle and having another adult cat around... ?

    Source(s): Was in an identical situation. She has been a great companion for past 3 years.
  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    cats are much more stubborn than dogs and trying to teach them good would be very diffucult i have a cat who is very aggressive but we have no kids in the house so its nothing to worry about eventually see lost her agression towards me after years of feeding and pampering that is all i can suggest hope it helped :)

  • 9 years ago

    You are supposed to pick up kittens asap from birth. This is to get them used to human affection. If they r separated from other animals nd were never held, then that is normal behavior. What i did with mine was held her everyday and slowly she calmed.

    Source(s): My kitten was the same way. The ppl we got her from never held her. I picked her up even if i got scratched. She is fine now
  • 9 years ago

    About 10 oxycodon and if that doesnt work.......flame thrower! If u can't find it at babies r us use a sledge hammer

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