i am having trouble with my husband! what do i do?

Me & hubby have been married for 2 1/2 years. while we were dating everything seemed like a fairytale! i shouldve known then that it was too good to be true! he is 20 & im 24. i feel like he doesnt listen to me & we argue all the time! we usually make up pretty fast but most the time its cause we dont want to argue, but we never really talk about it. we kinda just sweep it under the rug. hes a really good man who works hard at his job & loves/helps take care of our daughter. but he never really spends that much time with me unless you count sitting in the same room with each other doing seperate things. i sit on the couch with my laptop on fb & he sits at the computer desk on his laptop playing video games. most of the time when i ask him something or say something to him i have to repeat my self, alot of times more than once & hes only 2 feet away from me!

earlier tonight when he called on his way home from work i was telling him about how i was wanting to do a juice fast cause i thought it would be healthier than a water one. i asked if he would want to do it with me sometime! so we could grow spiritually together! when he got home i was on the computer & was reading him some information about the difference between water fasting and juice fasting & before i even got finished reading he said " i think you should just do the juice one" then i said that "i was planning on doing the juice one, i told you that earlier. i was just trying to read you some information about fasting" cause on the phone he said he didnt know what it was. then he said "oh i thought you were asking me which one you should do." i mean either he wasnt listening to me on the phone, or he was putting words in my mouth, or just wanted me to hurry up & get off his computer so he could get on it. obviously it was one of the 3 cause i never asked him which one i should do.

alot of the times we argue is because he talks in general & im more specific. like one time we got into it cause he told me that we were gonna go over to one of his friends houses next saturday and i said ok! well the weekend rolled around & he said that we needed to start getting ready & i said for what & he said to go over to so & so house. & i said you told me that was next saturday. & he was like well i meant this saturday. he does that alot! he will say something & mean something else! he wonders why i get so upset & why we argue all the time. obviously he doesnt know how to communicate or to listen.

Also the only thing i ask him to do around the house is take out the trash & it takes him 2 weeks to do it! but yet he wants to complain about me not keeping the house clean. which is hard to do with a one year old that climbs on all the furniture! everytime i leave the room even if its just for a second shes on top of the couch or the coffee table or on top of her highchair!. ive tried putting her in her little exersaucer thing but after a few minutes if not immediately she starts crying. i try to just let her cry but after a while it just gets under my skin! its so frustrating trying to do something i already dont want to do (cause washing dishes is so much fun!!!) then i have to listen to a screaming/crying baby while i do it! other than not keeping dishes washed and clothes washed i try to clean a little bit everyday! we live in a townhouse that doesnt have washer dry connections. they have a laundry mat & with all the laundry we have that needs washing, its gonna cost so much to take it there(i think its a waste of money we dont have)! i want to take it over to his grandmothers house one weekend & wash it all in one day, but he never feels like going over there (we only have one vehicle that works & he drives it to work so i cant go over there during the week) so i tell him he can wash laundry when he gets home from work which it takes him like 2 weeks to do that as well & he only does 2 loads that he washes at the same time!(theres more than 2 loads that need washing) i clean the living room almost everyday but by the time he gets home our daughter has already dragged everything back out. There will be days that as soon as he gets home after we eat dinner ill start cleaning & wont have the whole house clean til like 3am, then have to get up with her at 7:30 & 2 days later it will be a disaster again! my husband does not clean up after himself. i dont all the time but more so then him. when i clean ill put everything in a specific spot& he will get/use something & not put it back in its spot & wonders how the house gets so messy. also he will open a cabinet & not close it. and he leaves the toilet seat up but i dont say anything about that any more cause you need to choose your battles! i dont nag him to take out the trash and other stuff everyday cause he is a grown man & should do it w/o me having to tell him. i feel like we are fading away but i dont want to lose him

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  • Opps
    Lv 5
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    This road is well traveled. It leads to divorce and sometimes it takes the long route to divorce (by then you are 40 something wishing you had one more chance to live life again). Its coming...with little chance of a safe landing without some tremendous work on both sides.

  • 9 years ago

    I fail to see a connection between going on a juice fast and having a spiritual connection, but anyways, some people just don't have good communication skills. A marriage counselor would be beneficial for you. If you can't do that then you need to have a weekend away together, no baby, no house to clean, no video games. You need a mini vacation to get back in touch with each other. I think this will help a lot. Staying home all day with a toddler can be stressful, but you are really letting it get to you, relax, you don't need to go crazy over housework. Try to enjoy your time with your daughter instead

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Youve only been married for 2 1/2 years right? Give it some more time. The first few years are terrible, but once my husband and I made it to our 4th it was like we fell back in love with each other. If you two loved each other in the beginning, theres hope! Just try talking with him, not yelling, or arguing. Get a hobby you both can do together, and talk. Tell him you want to become more spiritual with each other (My hubby and I did that too! I support that decision of yours lol) It helped us tremendously! Good luck!

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    It sounds like you're tired, frustrated, and you're just looking at all the bad in him. You're pointing out all these things that he does that are wrong, but I'm sure that you do some things that he thinks are wrong as well. I'm a wife as well (for many years!) and I'm sure my husband can tell you tales of how I'm not the perfect woman. It takes time for them to understand that even though you're not a perfect housekeeper, you're still the one he loves. And even though he's not perfect, you still love him.

    There are things you can do. You can take out the trash yourself if you feel like it, just to avoid fights. Or you can take the trash out of the bin and put it by the front door...maybe he'll get the hint?

    The other things you mentioned sound like they are mere misunderstandings. The thing about going to his friend's house was just a miscommunication. So you can remedy that by asking the date of the event that you're going to, instead of just accepting "Saturday" as a response.

    It sounds like you're in the early stages of your marriage, and this is the time where you're just starting to get used to each other. It's nothing major, they are all just things that you need to work around and figure out between yourselves. And you can do it. Especially for the sake of your child.

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  • 9 years ago

    Sheesh woman! What a long a$$ story!!! Sounds like you guys been married for 20 yrs instead of 2. lol! He's 20 and your 4 yrs older. Sucks to hear that. You do the math! Watch when he turns 21, oooo, he calls you at home telling you his going to be late and your telling him that you have dinner all ready for him and he tells you that he's going to stop by one of his friend's house when actually his hitting up the bars and club meeting girls his age. LOL!!! Kind of makes you think, WTF did I get myself into! :P BTW, hope your marriage life works. hehehe!

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    This is just nonsense - you two engage in subsitutional arguments over nothing when you should be fighting about fundamental issue in the relationship involving respect, teamwork, cooperation and mutual respect. You two fight about the fringes of life when there are huge problems in your relationship. How can you as a woman give yourself sexually to a man who treats you like dirt?

    You tow need relationship counseling badly

  • 9 years ago

    Try consulting a counselor or tell him that if he doesn't shape up then you're going to leave him

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    he is barely a man, just out of his teens, you will lose him if you keep nagging.

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