Straight guy with crush on possible lesbian/bisexual girl? Should I stop? 10 points for best answer!!!!?
In February I went to an organization's information night on my college campus. I laid my eyes on this girl and was absolutely captivated by her. I wanted to get accepted into the organization and get to know her, and yes i got accepted. As time passed, the crush turned to love, and I could slowly but surely see her being my girlfriend. Then, two weeks ago our organization had a retreat which involved intense sharing. She revealed that she was still exploring her sexuality. I guess it was common knowledge because most of the people had known her for a long time, and I was one of the few who didn't. I was shocked because she is a pretty religious Catholic girl and stuff and she's had a boyfriend before. Oh and I might add I think she might know I have a crush on her.
So my question is: should I still pursue her or not? Part of me thinks I can turn her straight but part of me thinks she's been a lesbian all along and there's nothing I can do. What do you all think?
- 9 years agoFavorite Answer
It's a gamble. Lots of college girls explore their sexuality and figure out if they're gay, straight, bisexual, pansexual, fluid, etc. So theoretically, you could back off, and then she could have a boyfriend next month and you'll go "what the hell, I should have gone for it while I had the chance." But then again, you could pursue her, win her over, and then have her break up with you because she realizes she's gay and you'll be left heartbroken. Another scenario could be that she realizes she likes guys and girls, you guys end up dating, and you feel like you're restricting her from being with women too, which can cause friction in the relationship.
It sounds like you both really connect so I would say go for it. The worst she can say is no right?
Re (Becky with a hoe): I thumbs downed you because in not reading the description you completely irrationally responded to his question. If you read the actual question you're going to feel really stupid for your immature answer.
- Anonymous5 years ago
I have a theory, but I haven't done any research. So take this as you will. Attraction is a one-way action. In this case, it happens to be from you to him. His feelings have nothing to do with your attraction to him. It is not in any way unsual to find that someone you are attracted to, does not feel the same way. It's relationships that require attraction from both participants to each other to work. I'm certain this end of the theory is true. Basically, he's a great guy so of course you're attracted to him. Secondary part of the theory is that people choose their attractions. You CAN look at a person and decide "yes, this person is beautiful, but NOT what I'm looking for". You decide what you want and nurture that attraction over others that you could feel. It is possible to see "smart, funny, cute, talented and GAY" and decide that is the perfect person to have an attraction to. I have met women whose sexual orientation seemed to be "gay guy". I'm not certain if part of the attraction is the near guarantee that it will not turn into a successful relationship or something else. Afterall, there's also the thrill of the hunt, the allure of the forbidden or the gratification of having a gay guy "go straight" for YOU. All this is for you to decipher. But I would also like to point out that gay/straight isn't quite like dead/alive. It's not one or the other. There are bisexuals and other people who may have a "bisexual patterrn" but see people as people and don't get why you should focus on just males or females when you may find your perfect match in either group.
- 9 years ago
You can't do anything to make lesbians turn straight. Once they turn lesbians, they won't get back :D.
I myself very happy with my girlfriend. I can only think of guys as friends. I have no longer interested in them as a lovers anymore. Its difference between males and females nowadays for me. Feminine lesbians would turn me on easily.
If shes bi, you probably could date her but remember, someday she will leave you for another woman. It's like heterosexual couples, but bi girls can go with females and males..
Well.. think about it dude...
- Becky with a hoeLv 59 years ago
I'm not going to read the description. No. She's a lesbian she won't like you back. Move on.