my wife says she doesn't want me anymore?

my wife left me last week, she said that we were doomed from the start because we had a kid to early in the relationship and I'm too emotional, truth is I'm emotional cause I'm stressed, I came home from work every morning at 3 am and woke up at 8 am to take care of my son, my wife left at 6 am and got home just before I left for work so I felt like we never had any time, and we didn't recently I quit my job and I had started getting better about my emotions but one day she spent a large portion of her check on herself and it upset me so I brought it up (was kinda rude) in text when she was at work, I know it was extremely stupid, she then told me that day that she was leaving me, I convinced her to spend that night but after that I have only seen her in passing, I don't want to lose her and even though she says she doesn't want it to work I think its more that she doesn't want to be unhappy with me anymore from the stress we have from us both wanting to work and go to school while we have a son, I have tried to convince her that it'd be best to give our son to a relative or something so that we could get our school done, get jobs and work things out together but she says she just doesn't want it to work anymore and has left him with me, she's already decided her half of everything, most of which I wouldn't argue with but I can't stand the thought of losing her if there is anyone out there who has come close to divorce and managed to turn it around when one person had there mind dead set please help me

Update:

I've already signed up for marriage counseling through our church that'll also be helping me with my anger issues and such

4 Answers

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  • Clover
    Lv 6
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Why would you want a person who abandoned her child? What kind of woman blames her troubles on her child and leaves her husband? For the sake of the child, either put him up for adoption to a loving and prepared couple, he will thank you for your unselfishness on his behalf someday, or focus completely and unselfishly on him and him alone for the next 18 years. All he ever wanted or deserved was to have a mother and a father that loved him as well as each other and who were able to supply him with the emotional and physical health that all humans deserve.

    Poor little boy has to start out in life feeling that he is the cause of his parents divorce and is a burden to them. You will not be able to hide that fact from him unless you give him a fresh start away from that woman (and possibly yourself). Remember, you will reap what you sow at some point in time.

    You might want to read up on attachment disorder and what these kids grow up to be as teens and adults.

    Source(s): I've raised/am raising 4 sons. I'd take another in a heartbeat.
  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    First, I'm sorry that you are in this situation. I think the distance apart might have made her have a change of heart. She might be involved with someone else or maybe she plans on becoming involved with someone else. If you two were arguing she most likely said it out of rage. If you two weren't arguing at all, then she might be very serious about it and at that point it might be best to move on. You know your wife. Was she crying (might hurt her, but she's really not in love)/ smiling (might just want attention) or mad (might just be angry). You should try to give some more info about the situation and how your relationship has been since her departure. Ok so I just saw your addition. It was your idea? Already i'm sensing that this from the beginning was a one sided relationship. Granted, in every relationship there is one person who loves the other more. In this case it seems that maybe she didn't want to really get married or perhaps she was not able to think it through. Now, it's all becoming clear-vividly clear that she does not want to be married. She said she loves you meaning she cares for you deeply and would not want anything to happen to you but she is not in love with you ("i don't love you like that"). It might not be someone else. She might not have been ready for a committed relationship (with you?) or maybe she thought she was, but realized while in Kuwait that she wasn't.

  • Liza2
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    You could try seeking help on your own and letting her know that you are doing so. By admitting to your part of the problem and letting her know that you are working on it, you may help her to feel safe enough to return to the relationship. For example, if you now realize that you tend to yell and get frighteningly angry (from her perspective) when you are stressed, you could join an anger management class, a couple's communication class or even just see a regular therapist to get help. Then you could tell her something such as, "I realize when I am stressed I tend to take my anger out on you and I am seeking xyz help in order to change this. I start my class on Tuesday," or whatever.

    Then tell her you still love her and your son, give her a little space, and go to whatever you agreed to go to, whether or not she initially responds in a positive manner. If she is not initially excited about the idea, but given a little time finds she misses you and wants to make the relationship work, it would definitely be in your favor that you worked on changing your anger or etc. while she was taking her space.

    Good luck. My guess is that you CAN do this. :)

    P.S. And I do think it would help if you could work out a way where you could get 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep...

    Source(s): married :)
  • Maxy
    Lv 4
    9 years ago

    :( so sorry 2 hear that... maybe just maybe suggest marriage counseling? Try to work it out for ur son he needs u both, try not 2 become a statistic... good luck and wish u the best

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