I feel depressed and sometimes i cannot handle?

I am constantly feeling sad and pessimist. I feel depressed with myself and i hate it, i hate everything and seriously i hate myself. it's just that you cannot help anymore you feel like a burden to everybody. i had enough of being bullied because i can't hear properly. When you can't sleep you go to school, have a hard day and when you come back home you just sit and think about it. it makes me mad and desperate for some kind of love i am not asking for full attention but if just someone would have asked me about my day or if i needed something, i genuinely think i wouldn't be depressed. I am not being rude but sometimes i cannot handle myself i just start to think about improper things like hurting myself. I cannot sleep very much. Whenever i look back i got no one understanding me. I feel like a stranger to myself. i do not know what to do.

I feel privileged but unhappy with my life, i'm17 but inside of me i'm slowly killing myself. I have anxiety which make things harder. I truely want to help people, to make them more comfortable. I also wanted to make people aware that bullying people with handicaps is not a good thing. it mentally hurt them and make them frustrated. Just try be in their place for 1 day, you'll know the difference and parents, make them aware that their kids sometimes need them a lot. But I think now i am more like sinking, i do not feel that much alive and worst of all those headaches. I tried to talk to people but they didn't care. i blame myself again, for being too shy and i can't tell them. Whenever someone ask about your 5 next years. i just think and tell myself deeply, there might not be 5 years left.

I just wanted to write about it.and ask about what i should be doing next. I know that i am a loser who wasted all your time and that there is more important thing that a teen but i can't help it, i didn't ask to be depressed. Every single day is a battle for me, though i lost most of them. I hope you forgive me for this. i also know that i am not good in writing, it is because i am not in a state to write things. i am over-fed of behaving as if i am okay. thanks for reading, if you did.

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  • 8 years ago
    Best Answer

    I'm sorry but you seem like me in certain points I have been dealing with depression and I came here to help ppl like you and I. You don't need to worry because u mean the world to me. Life is constant conflict if you didn't feel pain or know what it means to be depressed you would never know what happiness truly is. I love you very much and unlike some ppl cutting just makes ur behavior even more self destructive. If you die you will never know what ur future holds unless you stick around if you ever need someone to talk to email me I wanna help you. I'm not sure if you can afford it but see a counselor or a school counselor

    jevarohdail@yahoo.com

    Source(s): I love you very much
  • 8 years ago

    Hey I think you should go to the doctor, it sounds like a deficiency in your brain. Of dopamine and serotonin, the two most important neurotransmitters that are responsible for a person being happy. I had the same problem, and headaches all the time, and I did cut myself BAD on my arm, but then I went to the doctor and my headaches are gone, I am feeling much much better overall!

    She did all the blood tests and I also did an MRI and they found a small tumor under my brain.

    That was responsible for me being depressed.

    Search on Google about L-Dopa and 3-Hydroxy-Tryptophane, those really DO work and they are all natural, you can find them at your local drug store, if you don't then ask them where you can find them.

    Your negative thoughts though, will not go away that easily. If you drink any, you should stop, because it is making it worse.

    And seriously, people do NOT care! Why should they? Do you care about everyone who is depressed and suicidal? I think not! Because it is a very hard world and if people don't take care of themselves and their business first, they are not going to make it in a world full of competitive sharks! If you don't care about yourself then none is ever gona care about you, why? Because they don't want to carry their everyday load on their shoulders PLUS somebody elses! I think it does makes sense right?

    Stop thinking that everyone hates you and thinks low of you, because people pay less attention to other people than you think!

  • 4 years ago

    Polly I feel horrible because I can't say or do anything to make you feel better. I just keep thinking and thinking about something that might help you take your mind off things , even temporarily, but I'm stuck. Remember that thing you told me about how it felt strange having someone be dependent on you you, being the reason that *they* wake up every morning? Think about what would happen if you were gone. They would probably be so overwhelmed with misery that they would take their own life too. You are their rock, their support system and without you their life seems hopeless. Now think about how greatly that speaks of your character. You are obviously an exceptional person. You must be very strong and inspiring for your friend to be that dependent on you. EVERYONE and everything that is alive deserves to be living. Never make yourself feel like you are an exception to that rule. On the contrary, you deserve this life more than a lot of other people because you are using it to help others and be a person of strength. Polly, you might think that taking your own life would be a painless option but it would be incredibly, devastatingly painful on your boyfriend, family and friends. They would always wonder what more they could have done to help you and carry a gaping hole in their hearts with them for the rest of their lives. Do you really want to do that to them? You have been dealt some very hard cards in life, but the pain is only temporary. The reason to stay alive is so that you can see all of the good and progress that comes out of your life once all this pain has resided. The reason to stay alive is so that you can continue to support your friends and be a source of light in their life. The reason to stay alive is because there is so much wonderful potential in your future and if you take your life now, you will never get to know how far you could have pushed that! Darling, you seriously need a vacation! Give yourself some time to relax. Hang out with your friends and have fun, light conversations for a change. Exercise, focus on school work, paint, dance, sleep, watch silly Youtube videos. I'll tell you what is good, life is good! I mean, ok, life sucks sometimes and life can be very difficult. But in the end it's only as difficult as you make it, whether conscientiously or sub-conscientiously. Wake up one morning and make the decision to move foreword and stop dwelling on things that happened in the past and negative things that are happening in the present. Get rid of the people who are bringing you down in life and surround yourself with positiveness. Focus on what you need to achieve to be happy and keeping working towards that no matter what. I know I sound like a broken record player but I just want you to be happy. Samaritans Phone UK: 08457 90 90 90 xxx

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago
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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    you sound like someone i know, cutting yourself seems to work.

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