Are suicidal threats a form of emotional abuse?

My husband & I have been together for 4.5 years, and we have a lot of marital problems. We fight about everything - finances, parenting, healthcare... You name it. We are trying to work things out & stay together, but it feels like it is just getting worse. We have a 3 year old together & we have had my 17 year old... show more My husband & I have been together for 4.5 years, and we have a lot of marital problems. We fight about everything - finances, parenting, healthcare... You name it. We are trying to work things out & stay together, but it feels like it is just getting worse. We have a 3 year old together & we have had my 17 year old stepdaughter full time since she was 14. He is normally a gentle guy - not violent at all.

2 years ago, my husband attempted suicide after one of our fights. He overdosed, was treated, and then was placed in a mental hospital for 3 days, which is the standard suicide hold for our state. The doctors said that he dissociated, but don't know what specifically triggered it. Ever since then, I have been afraid that I will say or do something that will make him dissociate again. I have also been afraid that he will harm me or one of the kids if he dissociates, even though he swears he never would (& has never threatened to). He knows of my fears.

He has not gotten in long term counseling or started on medications, which were both recommendations by multiple mental health care professionals, both before & after his suicide attempt. He needs one or both of these anyway, because he has depression & PTSD from war trauma & childhhod abuse. 

Last week, we had a fight because my stepdaughter has ben lying about a lot of things. I lost my cool & told him that if she kept being a manipulative little b***h, she needed to leave because I would not live with someone like that any longer. I have had to deal with all her crap for the last 3 years (she has a bunch of issues too; he won't get her help either) because he doesn't want to discipline the kids much, & her bio-mom doesn't help at all b/c she is selfish & manipulative herself. Anyway, he yelled at me that if I ever called her a b***h again that he would hit me, & then he left. I called after him & asked where he was going, and he told me that he was going to go kill himself. He didn't; he calmed down after a few minutes & came inside. But I was still really scared, and our 3 year old was here at the time so I was scared for her too. We never talked about it, even though he said we would. Honestly, I am kind of afraid to bring it up.

Is that emotional abuse? Or should I excuse it due to stress? What should I do?
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