I haven't even bothered to read even half of what you wrote, not because it isn't true, my guess is it is, but because the problems you have come down to two simple things: 1) pride; and 2) sin. If we take the first one, pride, there is so much of what you say that comes down to you telling her or letting her believe things about you or your plans that aren't true. You can't blame her if you said such and such and then she found out the hard way that what you said wasn't true. This is an issue that you need to deal with, and it isn't about you telling her, it is about you changing your heart. You have come to a religious forum, so I am guessing you are expecting to hear that Jesus does offer a solution, which he does: Love your neighbour as your self! The only way you can change your heart is by putting Jesus as first in your life. When you do that, then he will change your heart, and when he does so then pride will also be dealt with, because pride is one form of sin. Which brings us to the second factor: sin. The fact she gets jealous when a lady rings is because she doesn't trust you ... no, you don't blame her for that, you need to blame yourself. You created the distrust, so you need to create trust. Again, the issue of her wanting an abortion is because she doesn't trust you to support her and the child, so you need to show you can be trusted.