Do you know anyone whose in-laws didn't like them at first, but grew to love/appreciate them?

I'm in a situation where I'm trying to get to know my Pakistani Muslim boyfriend's parents. I'm white Canadian. The parents are nice, but are struggling with the notion that their son will be marrying a white girl and breaking away from tradition. While they haven't forbidden him from being with me (he and I are 28, after all), they are taking a while to get used to the idea of us marrying one another. My boyfriend's father has been in tears recently, trying to come to grips with the reality of the situation. Fortunately, he says he will support us in our decision. But will things ever calm down? Have you been in a similar situation, or know someone who has?

7 Answers

Relevance
  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    My mother-in-law HATES my very existence. Why ? I'll never know. I've never given her reason to. My husband says its because she thinks I'm not good enough.

    It used to be real bad. She used to get in my face and yell at me to get the hell out of her house. She would threaten to kick my ***. Even in those times I never lashed out at her. I would just quietly retreat. I'm not a violent person. It hurt more than anything and I would end up in tears later because I would try so hard. My husband would console me but he definitely put a stop to it. Now she doesn't disrespect me. But she still won't speak a word to me. Her face gets all pinched up and she leaves when I enter the room. Not that we visit her much anyways.

    I don't know if it will ever get better. I wish it would. I'm still very hurt about it but I don't let myself get all walked on by her.

  • 9 years ago

    The fact that they are not pressuring there son to be done with you is a good sign. They are telling you that they will support the decision you make.

    You don't make it seem as if they make your life hell, so I don't believe things are that bad.

    They are trying to break from there "traditions" by accepting your marriage, So appreciate there actions. It says a lot.

    Just because they accept it doesn't mean they can't hurt over it. Like you said, they are "traditional" so you can only imagine how hard this must be for them.

  • Benji
    Lv 5
    9 years ago

    I married a paki guy and it is still hell with inlaws(barely acknowledge me) It seems your at least on speaking terms. I was offered money to not marry....

    Look up gorigirl(gori being white girl) some forums for ppl just like us:) I think you will be ok in some time.

  • In time if you prove yourself they will like you. My in laws did not really care much for me at first but I won them over after some time. My mother in law lived with us the last few weeks of her life and she told me she grew very fond of me.

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 9 years ago

    Still waiting on the second part. Thank God they're on one coast & i'm on the other.

  • 9 years ago

    They wont like you, because they are jealous.

  • kiss4u
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    I would be upset also by your name.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.