My husband doesn't want me anymore, I make a move and he turns me down. It's been 3months! help!!?

He just lost his mom in june and he has been depressed but he acts like he hates me and he's always saying something about my wieght! We have been together for 14 years now, is this normal?

Update:

I'm far from fat!!! And for him cheating, he has to leave the house to find someone. he is disabiled from 3 back surgerys. He recked his bike when he was 18. I stay at home to take care of the kids. I may not be a perfect 10 but I'm no dog!

7 Answers

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  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Hi Sister, I know how you feel. My husband also lost his mom in June this year. But I do not think he is depressed but he acts like he hates me. He kept saying he does not understand me anymore. We have been married for 25 year. What happen ?

  • 9 years ago

    I don't doubt he is still grieving and will continue...That's he depressed over his life and that he resents you. Grief can take a long, long time, if ever for some people, to get over. The fact it is compounded no doubt by his physical problems and history, is turning him to the "dark side". He may need an anti-depressant or he may very well be revealing the truth...He no longer is attracted to you and does not want to be married to you. Only you know the real truth here...I would give him an ultimatum - oh, but wait, you can't do that, can you? You don't work outside the home and have no means of being self-supporting, so therefore my dear, you are trapped.

    So either insist he get help or you go get some schooling/education in a short period to make you marketable to GET A JOB and earn some money SO YOU CAN separate and still take care of your children. He could come around, doubtful, but it could happen...

    A lot of women would like to stay home and be a mommy - but when marital issues hit home - it's a sad woman who hasn't saved for herself; gotten any education to better in her life as an independent woman. You should know; that's where you are unfortunately at in life...Pity. It seems you need to change your situation but I doubt you will.

    Grace

  • ?
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    For him to comment on your weight after 14 years

    Is his way of avoiding sex he needs an excuse

    He,s lost his mom he,s depressed

    He just wants you to feel the way he does ?

    He does,nt mean it he just needs help with his grief

    Until he gets this your sex life will not improve

    How can he make love to you when he feels so bad

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    It sounds like he doesn't really care anymore! He should love you if you are thin, fat, purple or green! When we get married it is for better or worse... and doesn't have stipulations!

    If he doesn't appreciate you or want you anymore then why do you want him? I don't think I could stay where a man clearly doesn't want me anymore and is turning me down for sex! I'd want a divorce and rightly so!

    And to be completely honest when a man is turning down sex he is 99 percent of the time getting it somewhere else! He has probably found someone else and doesn't want you because he is getting sex from her!

    I think it is time for you to start thinking about getting out of this relationship! It is not healthy to stay in a relationship where someone is making you feel as though you aren't attractive or wanted! There are a million guys out there who would love to have a woman! Don't torture yourself!

    Good Luck

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  • 9 years ago

    Hon, I don't want to start any unwanted drama, but I think there may be a red flag here. If you've been by his side and supporting him especially emotionally with his loss then I don't understand why he's not turning to you for his problems and to be close... My biggest fear is that he may be turning to another woman. Try talking to him.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    I gather it's really hard for chicks to comprehend but what you look like is extremely important for a man to desire you sexually.

    If he is making comments about your weight , why haven't you taken the hint , put down that fork and made your way to the gym ?

    Love may be unconditional but lust and sexual attraction are not !

    Source(s): Fat is not a turn on
  • Violet
    Lv 5
    9 years ago

    Losing his mother is no excuse for being cruel to you. If he's refusing to have sex with you then something is seriously wrong.

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