Should I ask my brother if he is gay?

I was raised on a very conservative home right in the Bible belt. It has it's pros and cons, but one of the negative effects (in my opinion) is the ignorance. That being said, I have and older sister and 4 brothers.

I have a lot of reason to believe one of my brother's is gay but he has never come forward to say so himself. He keeps away from my family for the most part and I am almost certain it is because he is afraid we will not accept his lifestyle. The truth is, some of my family wouldn't. But, I want him to know I love him and support him no matter what.

I hate that he is living alone and has practically outcasted himself from my family. He is coming over tonight to have dinner with me. He is 30 years old and I am his younger, 25 year old sister. Do I have any right to just straight out ask him if he is gay or should I let him tell me on his own terms if/when he wants to?

My fear is that he will never admit it to anyone in my family and just continue living "away" from us because he does not think any of us will understand or love him if we know. But I will and I do.

What would you do?

6 Answers

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  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I wouldn't straight up ask him. (no pun intended.) - I would let him know that you support gays and don't have any problem with them. That's the best you can do - Let him know that you would be okay with it if he was.

    Just build trust and make him feel like if he was, he would not be judged.

  • 9 years ago

    I like all the previous answers...I would definitely get to know him better and try to be part of his life if at all possible, you should do that if you truly love him anyway!! Work on building his trust and let him know that he can tell you anything and you will love him whatever he says!!

    In my experience though, I think at times it would be easier if my loved one would just ask. I had a friend ask me recently and it definitely wasn't easy to answer honestly...but it felt good that I was able to finally be the "real me" around him...even if it did freak me out for a little while!! But you have to be at the right place in the relationship and whomever you are asking needs to know the question is not coming so you can judge them...but so that you can know them better, unfortunately you have to be the one to work on that and judge the relationship!!

    I obviously don't know how your Brother would react...but those are just my thoughts!! :-)

    Source(s): Personal experience..
  • Josh
    Lv 6
    9 years ago

    I would let him know that you love him very much and have no problems with having a gay family member, but I would never ask him directly let him come out on his own terms.

  • 9 years ago

    Talk to him about how you dont like he is distant from th family and that you miss him. Ask him why he is doing that and say you miss him. Let him know that you will love him no matter what but dont directly ask him if he is gay, just hint at it a little.

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    all the answers here are good. don't straight up ask him, but let him know you are open to gay things.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    you should tell him that you support him, and that nothing he could tell you would change that, and you love him unconditionally...

    it's not proper to ask anyone about their sexual orientation... if after telling him you support him no matter what, and you show him that, he will open up to you i'm sure...

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