Will you please C/C this poem with an odd title?

This poem is in response to Questor's

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AsnGJ...

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0100 0111 0110 0101

by Victoria Tarrani.

- aka - tori ♫♪♫♪♫

© 201109.

Tablet flickered; a binary signal

reached its motherboard with ones and zeros

rushed across transistors in swift air flows

a Word in bits, Wi-Fi changing, casual.

Tablet lights reflect a sudden brief breeze

circuits align to match bits of data

and find there is a third tripping delta

flashing brighter and with explicit keys.

Searching for a matching USB port

tablet recognized signals of virus

seeking entry through unauthorized slot

began shut down to avoid a crisis

closing with the blue screen that said ABORT

upset user never knew of the plot.

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Update:

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I forgot to say that this is a first draft. Please keep that in mind and do be clinically critical so that I know what to do to improve it.

Do you have to read Questor's poem to have a point of reference for this one or not?

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tori ♫♪♫♪♫

Update 2:

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It is terrific to have Questor back. Thanks for your answer, plıɥɔǝʌol! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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tori ♫♪♫♪♫

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Update 3:

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I was a senior network systems analyst and engineer for 10 years, so I follow technology. I am not as interested in taking the components apart as I was in 1987 when I borrowed a 300 baud modem to try the internet. I have many certifications, awards, and professional credentials, but they are out of date. I don't have any desire to get back into it... too many all nighters just so a client could be up when they came in. Rarely appreciated, always exhausting, and required teaching administrators to understand their networks. I fell in love with computers and their power on a 286 with a 30 MB hard drive. And the love kept growing. I'm a programmer, but no longer write code. I'm a user now -- I just want it to work, like most of the world.

Thank you for the complements. I think the two Sonnets compliment each other well too.

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tori ♫♪♫♪♫

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Update 4:

LOVE is the converted title.

Thanks for all of the great answers. I appreciate it so much.

;-) tori ♫♪♫♪♫

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12 Answers

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  • Thomas
    Lv 7
    8 years ago
    Best Answer

    tori:

    I have read both Questor's and your poems. I love them both, especially yours. I just drop my jaw reading some of your stuff, I mean work!. A clinical critique I am wanting,

    but you can come over and work on my computer if you would like?????? bits, bites, blah blah blah

    You are great, the best. I feel what you write. It comes to life, it breathes, and reaches my heart.

    I am colored blind, so it's tantamount to seeing colors the way they should be seen, a whole new world opens up with my eyes. wow

    even with computers-------were it possible would tear it a new one, though right now my Dell is running like mint!

    Thanks

  • 8 years ago

    I think you have captured the essence of what drives the computers that are a key element in just about everything we do these days--yet whose operation is such a mystery to many of us.

    The technical aspects of the sonnet look good to me, but I am not truly qualified to critique the structure of the poem in that way. One of the things I have always like about your poems is the imagery you communicate in your descriptions. Whether the image you are presenting is sad, funny or techno-geekish the astute reader sees the picture you are painting.

    As something of a latecomer to poetry, I don't get very deep into the technical construction of a poem. I simply want to express something I feel or see. So I may not be the best person to offer a critique. I like the poem. You help bring your computer (and mine) to life. That is what matters to me.

    Thanks for posting and thanks for being one of my special online friends.

    ((((((((Tori)))))))

  • 8 years ago

    Hello Tori. I had a part time job in university fixing computers and networks. Sometimes I wish I could just go into the computer and kick the viruses out!!! LOL. This is a very nice poem.

  • 8 years ago

    Great poem but not exactly my green cup of tea. Structurally, I don't have much to say about the rhyming scheme. It's ok and good. I'm more used to iambic and the emo, philo, types of rants and verses so rhythmically, I'm not too comfy with it. Perhaps because of the difficulty to relate techno with human. My first time to read a poem you wrote and I'm glad to see you rhyme and follow the petrarchan pattern.

    Yes, Q is back so each one raise a cup

    be online, connected, enter-return

    let's all caz rap, but first back your files up

    don't forget the toaster, some's 'bout to burn.

    Pagin Q, the girls are talking 'bout you!

    so come'ere quick, you still got lots to do!

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    Una poesia molto bella.. Vittoria di Tarras, una vecchia citta Greca. Allora, ci vediamo, qua in giro, senz' altro.. Saluti tanti!

    ( A very beautiful poem. Victoria from Tarras, an ancient Greek city. Well, we 'll see each other, around here, there is no doubt about it. I salute you a lot!)

    The language is Italian, I use it in here from time to time, always benevolently. Thank you.

  • 8 years ago

    I did read his Tori, and apparently I'm out of the loop. I've only recently seen his work and commented on some. I'm also out of a technological loop, which isn't a sin, just a failin of mine. I enjoyed both.

  • 8 years ago

    hehe, as I was rod fishing in a pond near our house, I was thinking of this little joke of a poem I wrote to lampoon some people who had a fixed mindset not capable of changing (or of making exception, atleast) that was the first robot poem all about.

    Then came the second robot poem which is intended to be a tad serious. But look what it generated.

    The offshoot (poem of Tori) got better response. So, right on Tori. Bravo! English is really your mother tongue. And added to that is her knowledge of the modern tool.

    That's fabulous.

    I'm back. But just a little.(lol) Whatever that means. Thanks to you all who lauds my return.

  • 8 years ago

    Would all tablet computers were able to act in such fashion upon detection of an incoming worm! This is brilliant. ;D Developers, unfortunately, have a lot of size constraints to sweat in building antimalware suites for the Apple iPad and its competitors.

  • 8 years ago

    Hi. I love your poem, and I thank God for people like you, who work for others in the World of computers,now i know who to call , when my PC is acting up. T.C

  • 8 years ago

    May an upset user will find the missing port ..

    And i just enjoy the poetic plot !!

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