Is this a good writing or what? 10 points for honest answer, plus advice?

Today I went to visit James. Early autumn leaves were falling everywhere as I walked my way to his home, awakening the haunting memories of our past. The place was pretty much the same as I remembered a few months ago, except for the trees which went from green to the shades of yellow and orange as fall takes over. I've never visited James during the summer and the guilt is killing me. John and I went to London where we spent our vacation with his family,John's family were like the kindest people in the world but a summer without James is as cold as the winter in Southpole, if there's a winter in Southpole. In summary, I didn't quite enjoyed my favorite season this time.

I took a long, deep breath as I entered the gates, the earthly smell of growing moss all over the place seeped in to my lungs. I turned by a corner and I saw Jame's house. It looked exactly the same as I have remembered it, other than the white paint that seemed to peel off because of the summer heat.

Along with his favorite chocolates, I left him a letter.

Dear James,

I won't ask you 'How are you' because I know you'll never answer me back.I spent my summer with John in London and I just returned home. John is the most affectionate man the world, next to you, and his daughters were the sweetest thing I've ever seen in my whole life, next to you. It's been a while since John and I never saw each other so I'm sorry for being absent the whole summer. I just missed my cousin so much and it was great seeing him happy with his own famiy. Helen survived the cancer and they were one, happy family again. It makes me even miss you more.

Steven will turn six next week so I'm preparing a little party for the little guy. I can't wait to send him to school. For the recod, he's beginning to identify the letters of the alphabet.Our boy is smart and beautiful,he's got your eyes and lips.

I love you James, and that would never end. I'm keping my promises to you, remember the promise? I love you as much as I loved you five years ago. How I wish you'd come back...I'm writing this letter in a foolish hope of you to read it. I don't even knwo why I'm writing it, I believe thoughts are much better expressed being written.

Always and Forever,

Lucy

The golden rays of the orange sun is setting behind the trees , reminding me of James' promise once again. Tears gently fell from my eyes as I slowly placed the letter beside his tomb and left the graveyard.

3 Answers

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  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I think its good:D

    Your editing skills are pretty good , but for this sentence 'John is the most affectionate man the world, next to you, and his daughters were the sweetest thing I've ever seen in my whole life, next to you.' did you forget to include in, in between man and the?

    Also you spelled always, record, know, and some other words wrong, but everyone makes mistakes when writing.

    I guess my tip would be to reread your writing for mistakes and errors, but it's quite common.

    Hope I helped

    *Anyways can you answer my question?:D

    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ah81h...

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  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    Congrats on the standards! merely 5,000 at the back of me. haha. i like long questions and solutions. i visit characteristic you as a sprint. i've got no longer been very energetic in R&P for some years now, yet i'm happy to pay attention its nonetheless a great community of knowledgeable music enthusiasts. MQ:music For The Asking by means of Simon & Garfunkel MQ2: an quite long term, like 5 or extra years i think. I come and bypass. BQ: i'm hoping long sufficient

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    its really good believe me u are born writter

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