Mark_R88 asked in HealthMental Health · 8 years ago

I am 23 years old and I am terribly shy around girls! I don't know what to do, it's ruining my life. Advice?

I just don't know what to do any more, I feel like I've come to a dead end. I see all these guys with girlfriends, but I can't get a girlfriend because I'm so crap with talking to girls. I understand a little bit of shyness is fine, but I'm at the point that I avoid talking to girls to hide my embarrassment of my nervousness, blushing etc. I never used to be like this, but I've been unemployed and out of education, that now I feel like I'm leading a worthless life. So in turn, I feel worthless myself and just want to dig myself a hole and hide from the world. It's pathetic, I know! But how the hell do I get over it? Of course I want a relationship, but where do I find that relationship? I feel insecure because I don't work, I don't drive, I still live at home, and I have no education behind me. The reason I've been out of work for so long is because I have been severely depressed about life. I have had no motivation to do anything, so I end up feeling worse and worse about myself. I just want to live a normal life, but at the moment I don't know how to. I just really need some advice, I don't know what to do. I have been single all my life and it's getting depressing now! I start to feel that I'm ugly because I can't talk to girls. What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I like this? I feel like crap right now!

Update:

I know I'm the only one who can change my situation, but it's so depressing being 23 and never had a girlfriend. I've only had sex one time as well, so it's not like I'm experienced in that area either.

7 Answers

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  • 8 years ago

    Shyness when it comes to meeting and talking to girls is completely normal - every guy is shy at first - it takes time and practice before it becomes easier. Your problem is that you lack self-confidence, you probably know that already, of course. The reasons why you lack that confidence are also obvious: you've got nothing going on for you. You don't drive, you don't have your own place, you don't have motivation to do anything, you have no education, job, etc. The list seems endless! What you need to do is get your priorities straightened out first. Why do you need a girlfriend NOW when you're in such a low point in life?? Why not take care of the things that truly matter first? Let's say you find a girlfriend now, what are you going to do? You don't drive or have a job..... Once you have all these things (license, car, job) you will feel better about yourself and your confidence will go up, thus making it easier to talk to girls.

    My advice to you is get your sht straightened out first. Learn to drive, get your license, get a job, find your own place to live and THEN start going out to clubs, pubs, malls, etc to meet girls. You need to talk to girls for a while before you start feeling comfortable around them. The rest comes naturally.

    Good luck

  • 8 years ago

    Go to tech/college and do whatever ever level of education your at, sitting at homes going to get you no where, by doing that youll meet people. Also try to find a part time job, that'll boost your confidant too. You just need to do things that put you in unavoidable situations that you just have to talk with everyone, it's the only way to overcome this. You need an eduacation to feel good about yourself and make you feel more worth.

    Good luck

  • 8 years ago

    What have you done to help yourself? you don't mention that here....

    counseling is a no brainer....nothing wrong with getting some 'tools' to help you cope/function - I did it yrs ago...was great...kind of gives you an upperhand. Lots of low cost centers around. I'd also suggest volunteering somewhere...you are exposed to new people of all ages....sure some older but lots of instances to work alongside younger people too. Another trick I suggest is to make a simple attempt to speak whenever out in public. Even if its to say...'thank you' "have a nice day' etc etc. Simply smiling hello to someone is also under rated and can start the process inside of you to uplifting yourself.

    Also no one is keeping score as to how many times you did or didn't have sex, except you. You have plenty of time for that...and the best way to enjoy it is when you have some confidence in yourself and who you are.

  • 8 years ago

    Join the military or get a job. You need to have some self confidence to land a girlfriend. There are probably some girls that will sleep with you anyway if they have low self esteem too or are tipsy etc, but its pretty lame. Good luck!

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  • 8 years ago

    your depressed becasue you live in engalnd, come to america and the girls will fall down around you.

    But searously, stop taking everything so seroisly and worrying about what people think of you.

  • 8 years ago

    look on the bright side u have plenty of time to become an expert in jacking off. instead of wasting time on ya try clicking over to a porn site

  • 8 years ago

    i agree with the first answer come to america chiks love uk guys ;DDD

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