Bad relationship with mom + feeling worthless; Please help :(?

My mom and I have a very complicated relationship. She is a very critical person and is constantly insulting me using every insult under the sun. Sometimes we get along fine- but half the time I don't know which mom I'll come home to- the bashing, critical one, or the nice, caring one. To make a long story... show more My mom and I have a very complicated relationship. She is a very critical person and is constantly insulting me using every insult under the sun. Sometimes we get along fine- but half the time I don't know which mom I'll come home to- the bashing, critical one, or the nice, caring one. To make a long story short, I auditioned for a performing arts high school and whatever the reason may be, I didn't get in and that has made me doubt my acting ability and made me extremely sad. I'm 16 now and I act for my school; a school, mind you, that doesn't take acting seriously. There is virtually no competition so I'm always the lead. I plan to be doing another school's drama program and taking a 3 month class next year but I seriously feel like theres so much more I should be doing. I LOVE to act and it makes me so sad when I think of giving up on my dream. I feel like my mom doesn't believe in me anymore. I expressed an interest in becoming a dermatologist and she did all this research on programs, but she has never researched programs about acting. I know that it won't be my passion if I go through with it and settle for that field. Please help :( I mean, I really need to get out of here for college because my mom has ruined my self esteem and always verbally abuses me during the bad time. I am not being dramatic. But her approval still means a lot to me and right now, I feel like I will amount to nothing and have no clue what my purpose is in life.
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