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Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 10 years ago

How do you deal with in-laws who coddle the youngest child and that girl is selfish herself?

My husband and I have been married for a few years and ever since we even started dating I have noticed that his parents constantly are looking out for, coddling, and making excuses for their daughter. My husband is the older child. I feel like since we are successful and can take care of ourselves that we are looked at in a way where we don't need help or don't need appreciation. To make matters worse this girl is in the midst of wedding planning and it seems like she is following right in her mothers footsteps of being selfish and rude. She "tells" at least me what she wants done and how things will be. Since I love my husband I go along with this as not to disrupt the family tides. I shouldn't say "go along" of course this mother in law and sister in law have disrupted our relationship to the point where we argue about their intrusive and bossy natures and what should be done about it. The Husband believes that we should just go along with things and not worry and be the "nice ones". I however think that someone should stand up to these ladies or they will continue to "rule" the family and place their demands on everyone. I am ready to sever my ties with this bunch. This has been an ongoing 10 year sitution but after being told to throw a bridal shower, getting no thank you, being left out of the bachelorette party entirely... I don't want to show up to this wedding or speak to these individuals. I don't think there is any way to "nicely" communicate how I feel with them not thinking I am a complainer or spineless or them continuing to go on about their awful ways.

I have said nothing about the mother in law but in short she is 10 times worse than the daughter, controls my husband, blames him for not calling her, invites herself over, offers no affection or appreciation, and expects things to be done for her and her way - giving minimal in return. She will only do something nice when others can see it and when it is of the most benefit to her.

I need some advice on how to make these women understand their faults or my husband to understand that someone needs to stand up to these people or they will go on "ruling our world" without a care of anyone else's feelings. The only people getting hurt is my family and not his.

3 Answers

  • Anonymous
    10 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Your husband needs to grow some balls and tell his mother to mind her own business and leave you alone.

  • rrm38
    Lv 7
    10 years ago

    You're not going to change them. Do what you can tolerate and stay away from them otherwise. I agree with your husband that it's best to not stir the hornet's nest. You don't have to take it, but trying to convince them to change will be a futile quest that will only serve to have them set their lasers in your direction.

  • Chris
    Lv 5
    10 years ago

    Good luck on getting them to understand or change. They have no reason to change. You have been putting up with this for 10 years, so you can continue to put up with the drama or leave.

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