I am really afraid that my friend Eric will go to hell for busting a cherry in his kitchen?

Will god forgive him? I think so far it's just the one...but he said he might try it again with one which is "not so ripe"....whatever that means.

He WAS wearing a towel at the time...if that's any help at all (soulfully speaking)


James...I think you may have mistaken me for someone else...or for someone who gives a sh!!t for that matter.


Update 2:



Thank you for defending a lady's rep.

7 Answers

  • 8 years ago
    Best Answer

    Eric is already going to hell for that thing he did back in the fifth grade.

  • 8 years ago

    I've been told that wearing a towel is a help...there's less of me to look at then.

    As for the cherry...I just couldn't wait! I had to get it in my mouth RIGHT THEN!!!

    So sweet, so delicious...the syrupy juice dripping from my chin.

    It was well worth the stains it left on the counter. And the floor. I don't think that tile is going to be it's original eggshell color ever again. Better there than my bedroom, my eagerness paid off.

  • 8 years ago

    Yes, when juicing you want to do it when the fruit isn't overripe. A little bit of firmness will help it go in better. And get a high-quality juicer; the cheap ones are crap.

    And be ready for a mess. Juicing is messy no matter how you do it.

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    Hell doesn't exist, so tell him no worries. (If it does exist, all the cool people will be going, so I'd rather be there than heaven.)

    Just as long as the cherries aren't overripe. 'Cause that's just gross.

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  • 8 years ago

    I think Eric might be telling you porkies luv............it's nowhere near cherry season.

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

    9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

    8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

    7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

    6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

    5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

    4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

    3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

    2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

    1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    I don't think he will, darling...I'm pretty sure that his efforts are more likely to send people to heaven.

    (((Eartha))) (((eric)))

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