Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 9 years ago

Why won't my boyfriend have sex with me anymore ?

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost 4 years now and he has hurt me aalot it the past but we have gotten over it. At the beginning we were animals for having sex everyday but these past 2 months we haven't had sex once and everytime I try and tell him or ask him about it he says "seems like that's all that's on your mind" or "its not that big of a deal" so I just don't know what to say, I've tried dressing sexier and showing body parts off but nothing, hell tell me to cover up my chest when were in public but yet he's so kissy and hugging me when were in public but NOTHING behind the curtains. Whever I bring out my phone he's over my shoulder snooping but when it comes to him it seems fishy to me. When I mention the problems of our relationship he turns everything around into my fault somehow when its litterally him ! Hell freak if his friends or people say I'm hot but he doesn't show or give me anything ? I'm 5'4 , 23 years old , bleach blonde , blue eyed, fit and down to earth so I can't see why he could be cheating or something ? I find my self "doing the job" everynight to please myself and he tells me he does the same... I don't know maybe I'm thinking about it too much ?

I've also found porn on his phone quite a few times and he says their just pop-ups which is complete crap and he deletes his internet history all the time. And hearing he texts other girls behind my back (nothing bad I dont think...) Then he denys it ? Having sex is important in a relationship but now that there is nothing its ruining everything and its alll falling apart, I know I can find better but I'm soo in love with him we have plans for the future, but if all this fishy activity is going on and the no sex thing keeps happening I'm not hurting myself any longer .. The past 4 years were up and down, I don't know if he's cheating on me, not attracted to me, bored, or just being a fake christian but I NEED help and answers cause I am snappy grumpy and confused with all this ??

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  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Why is it that when there is a problem people think the relationship is doomed. Sit him down and tell him how you are feeling, and how it makes you feel rejected and insecure. If a woman stops putting out a guy complains, there is something going on, now i do not know him. How he is towards you and how you both communicate is important, try and be sensitive when you address the bedroom issue, it is in honesty like telling them they are failures. You need to get to the underlying issue that is creating this, how are you two getting on, do you go out together, i suggest a weekend away. Is he using drugs that affects their sex drive, some men become impotent and need Viagra to be able to perform. How old is he, dos he drink a lot, that can affect it too, is he depressed, some medical issue present if not, you need to look at is he spending more time away from home, less on you, more on the computer. Then he may be hiding something. Go into the recycle bin on the computer and try and restore what is deleted, there may be your answer. First sit him down and tell him how you feel without being angry, let him know you feel hurt, if then he dos not improve, look on the computer. There is something underlying here. Good luck i wish you all the best. Tell him you want to work it out, and it takes two. Relationships go through different stages over time, we cant be equally pleasing for a life time, it takes working on. But both has to make the effort.

    Source(s): Mental health professional
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  • Elaine
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Just because he doesn't want to have sex with you doesn't mean that he is crazy, cheat, gay or whatever. He may just want to cool it because if you were having it all the time on the hour then maybe he just needs a break from it or maybe he wants to wait for marriage or it could be a number of things. I was glad to read that you are not going to leave him if the sex isn't there thats great cause it shows that you don't want him just for sex and maybe he thought thats what you wanted from him sex only. Either way stick with him and I hope that it works out for the 2 of you.

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    If I were you i'd completly change the way I acted.

    If your thinking you might see the end to this tunnel what have you to loose.

    Don't make moves on him or dress sexy. Make him want you hardcore... sounds like your doing the chasing, time for a chance - make him want what he cant have.

    You could always be super sneaky and slip him some Viagra.

    If he calls - don't answer straight away, put him on the back foot - if he asks why... why does he care if he don't care enough to have sex with ya - could play that card to him.

    Or like.. when he kisses you in public just be like nope! Turn your cheek.. then he is asking wtf. Why aren't you kissing me, your response - why aren't you having sex with me.

    But got dam!! I your bashing yourself off at night! Dam - alot of chicks don't even do that. Dam lol. Maybe your just too much for him :p

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  • 9 years ago

    Listen carefully to this advice!!!!!!!!!! Don't think for one second that things are going to get better in that department. In fact, it is going to get worse. If you think it is difficult to have a partner that doesn't want to have sex with you for two months, think how things are going to be in few years down the line. You are going to struggle with this for the rest of your life if you stay with this guy. Forever wondering what is wrong with you. Forever wondering if he is having sex with you to shut you up because you complained. This will destroy your self esteem. This is one avenue I suggest you don't walk down.

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Yeah I agree with ^. You can be the hottest girl in the world and a man will still find the need to cheat, they don't always think with their heads. Good Luck!

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    He has a guilty conscience. Period.he is most likely cheating.men don't go thru "dry spells" at such a young age.he may feel guilty to sleep with you cuz hes got feelings for and is sleeping with someone else.sorry good luck

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Your better off walking away from this one. He's either bored of you or cheating on you, but either way you have already lost him!

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  • 9 years ago

    Move on - he has, at least mentally; it's a no win situation at this point.

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  • 9 years ago

    Unless he has some major problems in his life - work/health etc - which may be affecting him, then he's bored... sorry. :(

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    ask him clearly that whether he wants to be with you are not..? As per your words i think he got bored (sorry) and hesitates to tell you. Once ask him and move forward. when a relation turned into burden better to finish it.

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