Familys dont get along, what do i do?
Part of me is dreading my wedding day. My parents have split up due to my mum having a affair she is now with the man she went off with, my dad has a new girlfriend now but its all very awkward as my dad hates this man for 'splitting up' his family. Also i dont get along with my partners family, my mum also doesnt like them due to things they have said about me in the past. My nan and step grandad dont get along with some members of my family and my dad doesnt get on with my mums side of the family. I feel this is going too make my big day very awkward and i am not sure how to go about it all. What shall i do? :(
- 9 years agoFavorite Answer
Seriously, do you and I have the same family? Good LORD, it sounds like my messy situation, too... Don't you just hate it?
I know how you feel, not wanting to get married strictly because your family doesn't get along, or you don't get along with some of them and they hate everything...I know. My mom hates my dad, and he hates her, and they're both remarried and hate each other's spouses. My sister doesn't speak to anyone in family except for my evil grandmother who likes to hurt and control people, especially my selfish brother who doesn't get along with my mom at the moment because he's siding with my grandma...it's a MESS. I want to run and hide, too, girl, but here's something to get through your head: IT'LL BE YOUR WEDDING DAY AND IT WON'T BE ABOUT THEM, AND IF THEY ARE THAT SELFISH AND PIG-HEADED AT THE WEDDING THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR DAMN DAY, THEN YOU HAVE YOUR ANSWER RIGHT THERE AS TO WHO TRULY LOVES YOU.
And, you have every right to shout that it IS you and your fiance's wedding day and ask them, or DEMAND that they put their sh*t away for one day and just let it go... I know, FAT chance of that happening, but it's worth a shot. I'm planning on letting some hell break loose if my family starts being assholes...
- ?Lv 49 years ago
First, I'm very sorry your family is having such a rough time. My parents just split up two years ago after it came out that my dad was having an affair... so, I feel your pain. =/
Here's the best part: YOU don't have to try to make them get along! They are grownups and they need to act like it! Even though they fight now, surely they love you enough to enjoy your wedding day with you. If you feel you need to, talk to them each individually about your concerns. They very well may be worried about the same thing. Some would say this is patronizing, but if they're at each other's throats, you have a right to be concerned. After you talk to them, let it go. Don't worry about it anymore.
Your wedding is about you and your husband, not your parents/grandparents. You should spend the day making memories with your husband rather than worrying about your parents.
- zollicofferLv 43 years ago
Expect Drama, do not pressure approximately it or fear approximately what would occur. Just revel in it for the amusement significance and well reviews it'll furnish! For instance- I used to be honestly in a marriage ceremony wherein the Bride's father used to be stuck in an intimate function with the groom's aunt... They had been each married to different humans. It took the bride awhile however she appears again on that transient 15 minute episode and laughs.
- Fester FrumpLv 79 years ago
Plan your wedding in a far away place - i.e. married on a beach in Jamaica at sunset. Keep the invited guest list small. Regardless of how your family tries to f it up, it will still be pretty special.
I you do this close to home and have large number of familiar guests your asking for trouble as soon as the booze starts flowing.
Send invitations to all of them. Ask for RSVP far in advance. After you get the RSVP make sure you make the list of attendees is well know to the others. People can then decide what they want to do.
Maybe Mom and Dad come without significant other, i.e. put your family back together for one day. If you suggest this, be very careful how you present this to your birth parents. Possible that your parents come to Jamaica w/o new SO or just that the new SO doesn't come to the actual wedding. Just remind them that this your day, and if they want to be a part of it they need to set aside their animosity for the other. If they can't do that you will elope in Las Vegas and neither will be included.
Then you can have multiple receptions back home - one for mom and her new family and one for dad and his new family. Nothing extravagant, just separate events to keep the peace.
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- LiliLv 79 years ago
Well, if things are really that complicated and messy, get married at a registry office and just take a couple of friends along as witnesses.
If your family members care about you, (and if your partner's relatives care about him), they will behave politely and decently on your wedding day, no matter what they think of each other. You both need to emphasize the importance of this, of their displaying good manners. You, in turn, need to be as well-mannered as possible to your future in-laws in the run up to the wedding and on the day itself.
But if you think your relatives can't restrain themselves properly, then given what you've described, you really might want to rethink what sort of wedding you're going to have. Family hostilities, lack of restraint, and drink are a terrible combination.
- 9 years ago
It's your wedding day. They are adults and can act civil for a few hours. Seat them at different tables, and all should be fine.
- 9 years ago
The good news is you don't sound like you've done anything wrong, so really it's THEIR problem. If they make it awkward they only have themselves to blame. Their drama doesn't need to ruin your day! Just ignore it, let -them- deal with it!
- QLv 59 years ago
Elope and have your dream wedding in a resort-like location.
- diamondcollectorLv 79 years ago
invite them all and tell them to be on thier best behavior.
- OnyaLv 59 years ago
Elope... simple as that LOL