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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in HealthMental Health · 9 years ago

How can I leave my past behind me?

I'm so disappointed in what I did to myself. In April I starting cutting myself and got very addicted. Now I have rows of faded scars along my arms- I've given up cutting now. For good. But now cutting is a part of my past, my life, ME. I didn't even have a good reason to do it. It's all my fault and if I hadn't done it my life would be perfectly fine. But now I have these physical scars and the internal memory. I just want to bleach my brain and burn the memory away. And the worst part is I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO! :'( Of course I could tell my mom... we have a great relationship... but I feel like she would think of me differently and be way too over-concerned... she wouldn't believe me when I say "I will never do it again." I just seriously want to forget about everything that's happened in the past few months but it's just never going to happen, it's impossible. I really need someone to talk to. PLEASE! I feel sooooo alone and I feel like I will always be alone.....

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  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I have a story for you;

    Life took a turn for the worse for me in November of 2009. Life got difficult to the point where I was struggling to keep my faith in God to a level that was decent. And it gradually got worse and worse. That Dec/January I went to the Winter Retreat out at Camp Lu-Jo, in the rural country of Faxon, OK. And it was a lot of fun, although we had to leave early because the heaters, etc weren't working. We were out of propane. That weekend brought my faith up a little bit, but not to a place that I was nessecarily comfortable with it. In March of 2010, I met my best friend/little sister Carley Smith, and she really changed my life. My friend Tina was a big help then too. They were always encouraging, and never let me be alone. I fear being alone. Majorly. And Carley went to Peak Week out at Camp Lu-Jo with me, along with my younger brother Nicholas, and her older brother William, and little sister Janet. That summer was a great summer. They learned a lot about me, and Carley and I grew closer together as sisters, as well as friends. Here comes the bad part, in November, Carley, our friend Jazmine, and I went to Chattanooga's Homecoming Dance. Carley moved to Marlow the next day... and I was crushed. In December, I couldn't stand the stress, pain, and anxiety of life. I was hurt. And I had been considering it for quite some time, but I attempted suicide. In a 6 month period, I had attempted suicide eleven times. I had a cutting addiciton before that, and my last cut is still healing, today. God took control of my life... and the healing is still happening. Life is still hard and it lately seems immanagable without my friends that have been here for me through it all

    It will always stick with you. But whether you let it control you or not is another story. I have clinical depression, and I have been throug a lot. if you want to talk with me, my email address is melissapeckham@yahoo.com

    Source(s): Personal Experience♥
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  • 9 years ago

    Cutting is not good, and I'm so glad you stopped. The scars wont come off for awhile, but remember that those were the past, they aren't you, they are just what you were then. They are on you but you have to gain the strength to ignore them! Now, you are a different person, you aren't the person who cuts. And ALWAYS, ALWAYS remember you are NOT alone. You will always have someone. If you aren't ready, you do not have to concern your mom about this, this is your choice, but if you are still stressing about it, you should tell your Mom so she could help you through this, but you don't have to stress over it because that is all in the past. Now it's a new day, you can't go back in time but you can live life with no regrets. You are wonderful, don't let it get you down :)

    Source(s): my mind.
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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    the past is DONE. it's gone and DONE. there's nothing you can do about it. so why not look forward to the future?

    you can't "burn" the memories away. it sticks with you forever. EVERYONE has memories that they don't want, but we adapt to it. that's what you should do. the most important thing now is the present and the future. past is long gone and not as important.

    a mom is a mom. they're your mother for a reason. you need to communicate your mom because your mom will try her best to find the solution to help you. a mom who loves her child deeply will never betray her own child. talk to your mom because she's the one person who you'll relate to and will be there for you till death.

    also, it's best to make some friends. you know, participate in some school clubs, school sports, or some type of a community. making friends is a major plus for you since you've obviously been in depression.

    anyway, that's all the advice i can give you. stay strong!

    Source(s): me
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  • 9 years ago

    Before I answer you're question I'll need to give you a round of applause! Good for you for giving up cutting yourself. It's hard to give that up when you're depressed or feeling down, but thankfully you did before you really hurt yourself! Ok back to your question, I don't want to hurt your feelings or anything but to be honest, it may be stuck in your memories for the next few years or even for the rest of your life. But if you start having good memories and keep a positive outlook on the world and life (because it sure sounds like you do), you may forget it more and more. Having fun in life no matter how bad things can get (because trust me, I know life can throw some curve balls), is the key to never going back to the way things were for you before and living a long and happy life. Do you have a best friend? If you do try talking to him/her. Best friends are very trustworthy and are there to be your friend, and friends are supposed to help each other in situations like this. If you don't think you can trust any of your friends, try talking to your mom and tell her that you don't want her to be more protective and that your past was just a dark phase of your life and that you realize how dumb cutting yourself really is. Kids aren't adults and aren't totally mature no matter how smart you are and no matter how mature you are, kids will be kids, and kids do stupid things. Explain this to her and just tell her that you're fine now. She's your mother, so she should understand. Hope this helps!

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  • 9 years ago

    Aw dont feel alone. Things change and you shouldn't hold on to your past. Every one has done something and things that they regreat, but you stopped cutting your self so you should feel proud. Your taking a step foward. The past can make us stronger, and you should look to the future. People will come. I use to be very lonely, and finaly after years of being alone I made friends. You wont be alone, and it sounds like your mom really cares to.

    Source(s): Personal Experience
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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Think about this, you were strong enough to stop. We all do things that we regret. I know I have. If your worried about how people judge you, don't be. I wanted to forget my past because I was worried that people would think less of me. But I decided that life is 2 precious to let my past continue to upset me. Don't hate yourself for this. Think positively and positive things will happen.

    Source(s): me
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  • 9 years ago

    dont feel alone, & EVERYONE has something that has something in there past that they regret, but we have to be strong & put it behind us & never look back but look forward into the future & making better choices, & its normal for you to feel alone alot of people do at times, life isnt easy but we have to be strong get up & pick up the peices, be better then what we were before, nobodys perfect & thats just apart of life & being human, be strong for your family & be close to god

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    It'll get better I haven't cut in a month or so.... and when I did I felt horrible... and tell your mom, so what if she is over protective, she'll help you, she'll probably believe you and then if you start doing it again to a psychiatrist. YOu need help, so get help, talk to anyone.

    Message me if you need to at JuliaJane95@yahoo.com

    Source(s): Personal experience
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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    don't think about the past. The past already happened. But the future is what counts. Have a positive attitude toward your future, and you will be more happy.

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  • 4 years ago

    sure, placed the previous at the back of you and make a unsleeping new initiating as a clean individual devoid of any connection with the provider! If achievable, retrain and get distinctive skills, get a activity with a distinctive concentration!

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