I need relationship advice?

I'll try not to make this story too tough.

I am 19 years old and my girlfriend is 17. We started dating in September of last year. I am mixed with black and white and she is Polish and Romanian (basically white). She used to live in Pennsylvania with her Dad and Stepmom. When she first met me her parents said she couldn't date me because I was mixed (the town they live in is really small and ignorant). Me and my girlfriend talked since March of last year, 6 months before we dated. We knew we liked eachother, so that's why we didn't give up when we found out about her parents, because we already really really liked eachother.

In January of this year her parents found out about her dating me, and they threatened her with alot of things and she told me we had to take a break. (Before anyone comments let me add that I have met her entire family and they are in fact Racist, and Crazy). This "break" all in all lasted 3 weeks. She had deleted her Facebook when we took the break, but about 2 weeks in, I had a bad dream that she was with somebody else. I woke up and typed in her name, not her last name but her first and middle. I saw a picture of her; I thought to myself maybe this is a super old page she made awhile back. I clicked it and it was recently updated and it said she was in a relationship. The guy she was seeing was her best male friend. Long story short with this part is; I found out and told her to choose between Me or Him. She chose me. And she also moved back to Ohio with her grandparents to be with me every day, because before I only saw her once a week. Her grandparents are racist too. I'm not going to type all their history and what happened when I found out.

Basically a month and a half ago she told me she had to tell me something. She told me she had slept with the guy during our break. I'm not a very angry guy, so I took it in and got over that part because what's done is done. I told her she needs to stop talking to him. The reason being is because if she lied about him during our break, but still talked to me, I dont want her having anything to do with him. Sleeping with him makes it much worse and I hate him. We have had arguments about her being friends with him and stuff like that. Well the last time she deleted him off Facebook and her phone. Well I have been feeling like she's been talking to him for some reason, I checked her "Notes" in her iPhone and there is her number. I know she loves me, really I know this for a fact, but I don't understand why she lied. I know he's her friend, but don't my feelings mean anything? I might not even care at all if they talked if she NEVER lied about seeing him in the first place and hid his number in her phone TWICE.

We have been fighting about stupid small things lately, but recently it stopped and we're doing pretty good. I am really sick of this worry feeling of not trusting her, because she hid/hides certain stuff from me. I have no proof she talked to him about anything bad, since I obviously can't see her texts and their not friends on Facebook. Her and her friends like to mess with people. I mean personality wise she might have his #, and text or call him privately and just say stupid childish stuff or weird stuff for a laugh. I mean they've done this before. Maybe she has his # because of a 1 time only text to send him, but then again why save it at all??

I know everyone probably thinks I am controlling and insecure, but nobody knows how much I hate what she did to me with him. If I even hear his name, it ruins my day. I don't know because I hate him personally because he's an ex of my girlfriend or because his name reminds me of her lying ways about the situation.

Should I confront her about it (I really don't wanna start drama about him again but I cant just stand back can I?)

Should I just let it go, and if I see texts from him or something similar I can say "Well I know you have his #"

....I need opinions and real advice. I love her so much and aside from this whole thing, she really is near perfect to me and I know she loves me. I don't want to end the relationship.

8 Answers

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  • 9 years ago

    You don't have to confront her about this issue, that will only create a bigger between you two, you oshould moreso discuss how you feel in its entirety. i also had to deal with the same kind of situation, i never have seen any person be as ugly as some of her family members, but what got us through it was, we kept our issues to ourselves, we TALKED whenever something was wrong, and we didnt let other people influence what we did or do. the fact that she did mess around with a good friend of hers shows she may not be as serious as you are, cause if she was, being with someone else wouldn't have happened, because she only would want you. Either way, its about both you two want, who cares wat everybody else thinks or says, if you cannot commit to that, then you have no foundation. no foundation means there is nothing to stand on, so trying to buid without a solid ground beneath you, is wasting your time, because it will always fall in time. Good luck, communication is the key.

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  • 9 years ago

    for starters, that was extremely long.

    but i know where your coming from, before me and my ex where going out which was about a year and a half ago, we were still basically together, we loved eachother, we just wernt offically boyfriend and girlfriend, anyway..

    he did stuff with another girl(my bestfriend actually), then straight after he told me he was sorry and wouldnt do it again, but he did the next weekend, said sorry again, and did it AGAIN the next weekend. after that i didnt trust him very much and probably was really controlling. and now looking back i wish i wasnt, because thats what caused most of our problems. so my advice is to trust her, and try not to control what she does/who she talks to. but if you do get suspicious and find out shes cheating on you or flirting with this other guy, i do suggest you break up with her. because thats just not right, and you deserve better

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Maybe you should really confront her, in an indirect way. Like, you could ask her "Hey, how's your friend doing?" Or you could ask if she's still talking to him. But don't be insecure about her talking to him or seeing him or anything. She lied to you once, but that's the past. You shouldn't let the past haunt you or anything. Have faith and trust and confidence in her, don't be insecure. Forget about what she did in the past and be happy with her.

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    aw hunny, you are clearly unhappy, and i dont think you deserve it. this girl sounds a bit too unpredictable, and i know you dont want to start an aurgument, but if she really loves you she will understand that you are uneasy because she slept with this other guy. her family must be really annoying for you, and it is racist, and you DONT have to put up with it. if this girl is innocent, she wont have to hide her phone, so you do have a reason to be suspicious. i really dont think this girl is good for you. do you really love her? who are you trying to convice, her or yourself? ask her whether this is fair on you or not, if she can see how unhappy it is making you she will understand and try to fix it. if she thinks that there is not a problem and you are overreacting, she is blind and you deserve better:) good luck!xxx

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  • 9 years ago

    Thats abit complicated though if u love her confront her an if she gets angry,then it might b she is nt ovr his ex,u hav to b creful mayb she is playn u,jst b sure of who she really loves.All the best.

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  • 9 years ago

    confront her one last time because if you keep asking her about it she will get annoyed and fed up. you arent being controlling about this situation either. after she lied and hurt you it's hard to trust her again.

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  • 9 years ago

    YOUNG OH, MAN IM ON MY WAY THERE TOO......DEEP SITUATION, WISH I COULD ACTUALLY TALK TO YA....DIG THOU LOVE IS A BEAUTIFUL THING BUT PLEASE DONT B A SUCCA FO IT......B A FRIEND, A REAL FRIEND OR NOT, BUT REAL FRIEND NO SEX YA KNOW LET HER KNOE WUT U SERIOUS ABOUT...,..FIRST AND FOREMOST YASELF, UR FEELINGS HAVE TO COUNT TO U.....N SHORT B A GANGSTA AND A GENTLEMEN, FIRM BUT SINCERE.......ACCEPT HER CALLS AND CALL HER BUT U DONT OWE HER JUS QT WHEN SHES OBVIOUSLY OPTIN OTHAWISE...SO MUCH I COULD SAY HOPEFULLY THIS DROP GIVES U SUM IDEA, THEM OH WOMENFOLC IZ A LIL CRAZY THOU

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  • you should confront her

    Source(s): <_< bob
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