Anonymous asked in Arts & HumanitiesBooks & Authors · 8 years ago

Hey read this first chapter?

here the link to my frist chapter

if you like it then I will send you a second chapter. Just keep watching on wattpad or I can email it to you what ever you perfur. If you think it needs something then please do give advise lol and ideas help and what not :)

if you think it's bad I would like to know what's so bad about it btw I don't have an editor so I tried my best to fix the grammer and what not so you don't have to tell me about that I already know thank u

2 Answers

  • 8 years ago
    Best Answer

    If you don't write a second chapter, I'll be very sad

    I love your writing style, Its amazingly captivating

  • botek
    Lv 4
    3 years ago

    confident incredibly desires greater description. How approximately--As Mr. McAlister first wakes up groggy and at a loss for words he can see and sense the wires tangled and chilly in the time of his physique. As his eyes look previous the mess of shade he can sense the hard steel restraining his wrist from shifting. It reminds him the time he became first arrested as a youthful guy. the sensation of chilly steel crushing down on your wrist making you sense uncomfortable and susceptible. He slightly knows what's happening, yet like all first circumstances you in no way forget approximately, he knows he's trapped. ok, so it incredibly is an occasion. yet you will discover it has a splash greater feeling to it. Substance, i think of, is the observe. It facilitates to strengthen the character and scene. See the main important concern inclusive of your get entry to is I have not got any concept what area of the e book this financial disaster comes from. If it incredibly is the 1st financial disaster, i admire how the action starts off up suitable away, yet you will particularly need to strengthen McAlister without postpone. If it incredibly is further alongside, which i think of it particularly is, and you have already stepped forward McAlister then the long verbal substitute works, yet you nevertheless ought to describe the scene, and continually McAlsiter's emotions and emotions. i be attentive to if that we are me sitting in that chair i could be freaking out, yet it incredibly is me and that i think of McAlister's demeanor is little calmer. good success, i think of this e book form has been written one thousand billion circumstances so so you might face out inclusive of your character. remember this, comparable scene distinctive character. WWMD--what could McAlister do!

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