Help! I want to move, but my husband doesn't?
I am originally from Iowa/Wisconsin. I left when I was 16 with my family down to Alabama. I have lived here for 10 years now, almost the same amount of time I have lived in Wisconsin for. My husband and I have a 6 year old son, and I am ready to get out of the South. We live close to Montgomery, AL area and there's absolutely nothing to offer around here. The weather is miserable in the summer because it is so hot and so humid! The schools are terrible and it's not the place I want to raise my son. Well, I am about to graduate college and my husband is currently in college getting a degree in Biology. I feel like now is the perfect time to relocate. And I do still have some family up north. I was researching areas with the best economy, best areas and schooling, and one of the number one places that showed up was Eden Prairie MN. Ive been doing a lot of research, and the more I read up about it, the more I fall in love. It's perfect. It has enough wildlife areas and national parks so that when its time for my husband to graduate college, he will have no problem doing so, and its not a crowded city and great schooling and also close to the twin cities. I have an older sister who lives just an hour away and she has offered for us to move in with her until we are able to both find a job and get a house. We have a lot of money in our savings and are currently renting a house. It's perfect! It's hard getting a job in a place when you live over 1000 miles away. Especially when I dont have a lot of experience under my belt as I have been a stay-at-home mom for the past 6 years, along with going to school. So, moving in with my sister, who has a big house with enough room for my family would be great that way we could stay with her, keep our money in savings and try to find a job and would be more likely to get an interview if living closer rather than living 1000 miles away. Well, my husband has known that Ive been wanting to leave for a while.. As for him, he has stated that he is ready to leave Alabama plenty of times. But now that it is time to talk about it, he has such a huge guard up. He isnt close to his family at all! They don't even speak. He has a job which is going nowhere and he loves the outdoors, and Eden prairie would provide all of that! We have been constantly arguing about this, because I am so sick of the south, and this weather and I know that the north would be better for us. Ive had an advantage and have lived in both areas and I know that he would love the north. What should I do? Who do you think is right? Im literally sick over this, because he has lead me to believe that he wants out of Alabama as well, but now he is acting like he will never leave. Am I wrong for being upset or asking my husband to leave? I just want better for my son and family and Eden Prairie has so much more to offer then here. Please, any feedback would be great!
Forgot to mention that the health care system here is horrible compared to MN.
I hear and understand what you are all saying. But it is really for my family.. NOT for me. Recently my son fell ill and we had to take him to the ER to get an IV and fluids... We were there for 8 hours waiting for him to even get one bag of fluids in him! 2 hours before we were even seen to get his information into the system, 2 more hours to get a room, another 2 hours for a doctor to see him and then another an additional 2 hours for the actual IV! The school system here, when I moved here, we had to buy our paper if we wanted to do our homework assignments. There was a fight every day and about 60% of the kids couldn't even read.. and these were seniors!!! TRUST me, I am not doing this for selfish reasons. I have my mom, my twin sister, and two other sisters here in Alabama. If anything, I am being the least selfish. I want better for my son and with my husbands profession he is getting a degree in, all the wildlife would be the best bet of getting a job and doing what he
- MikeLv 410 years agoFavorite Answer
Im from WI been around the block in other states.....They are all the same. With your list of justifications it seems your pushing to get away. I have a girl that moved down to Indy from WI going through the same stuff you are. Guy is from Indy and doesnt want to move. So its either she leaves or they stay. Your swaying one side isnt helping the matter either. Its just pissing off your man. Keep doing it and its gonna tear ya guys apart and THEN you can move, then blame it on him for not moving. Every year they change the best places and schooling to live, so you just gonna keep moving around and follow that? It isnt about the kids as much as you say it is. Its just you wanna get outa dodge. Dont use the kids as a excuse for you being sick of where you live.
- 10 years ago
Please scroll up the page and read what you wrote. Has it dawned on you that this is how you girls do everything? You will decide you want to do something and then try to come up with a hundred and ten justifications as to why the man should give in and do what you want. Just look at what you wrote above. But if the roles were reversed and he had written all of those things and you still did not want to move to Minn, you would not care, would not believe and would still refuse. Oh, lets not forget how selfless you gals are. Always concerned for the kids, until such time as what is best for the kids stands in the way of what or who you want. At that point, the kids can piss off, for you have a right to be happy.
Sorry lady, you might be a really good person. You might be absolutely right in what you say as well. But I see the same pattern here that I have seen in women since I can recall. And I have learned that the moment it is reversed, you all could not care less. And when a man will not do as you want, he is a turd or does not love you or is being unreasonable. JUST GIVE IT SOME THOUGHT.
- K8Lv 710 years ago
Home is where your husband and child are. Are you willing to trash your marriage in order to move? All this stress and fighting hurts you both as well as your son.
You need to calm down and give him time to think. He may decide he does not want to move or he may see your point - but harping about it helps no one.
Neither of you are 'right', but it is a decision that both must agree to - moving is a big deal. I have done it many times for my husband, but we talked and decided together (8 cities in 5 states in 23 years). I have lived all over and I will tell you - it does not really matter where you live as long as you are together and are happy.
Calm down and take a deep breath. This does not need to be decided right this minute.
- 4 years ago
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