I just found out that my girl is a phone sex operator. How should I feel?

Long story short, I was in a 1 year and some change relationship, we broke up and stopped talking for a while. We ended up recently getting back together. We've been taking things slow. However, I caught my girl looking through my text messages the other day, I didn't get mad. So last night it just so happened to be that I was in a position to look at her text messages, so I did.

What I found was a bit shocking. It was a text almost made it look like she was a hooker or something. When I confronted her about it she tried to brush it off and say it was nothing but I had her cornered. She ended up caving and telling me that she was working as a sex line operator for the past couple of weeks. She was really upset and began downing herself and crying. She also felt extremely embarrassed.

I was so confused, I just wanted answers. She said she hated her job but only did it for the money because it pays 100 dollars an hour! I'm not sure if that was sex line operators get paid. She also told me that since we started talking again it has been even more difficult to do her job. I asked her series of questions trying to get different perspectives.

At the end the conclusion was that she wants to keep working at her job for the time being until she saves up 10,000 dollars and then she wants out. She says that she doesn't care about anything and that she has low self esteem and even thinks about killing herself at times. The primary reason why she even cares about things is because of me.

We've talked about getting married and starting a family together. I love this woman but at this time I'm torn inside between my love for her and my morals. I just want her to have a positive lifestyle and for her to do things that she will never regret or feel bad about. She's told me that when she goes out to spend money it makes her feel dirty knowing how she got the money.

Do you think this is as bad as being a hooker or cheating? Could this lead into more things into the adult industry? I have so many questioned that cannot be answered. I love this woman and I know that she is a good person but she is just a bit lost right now. I feel like maybe the only thing I can do is be there for her right now.

5 Answers

  • 9 years ago
    Best Answer

    Arielle is 100% right..phone sex thru text...doesn't exist....

    tell you what first VERIFY if she really is a phone sex operator..ask her the name of the company/website and all other info...then make a decision..

    her being a sex operator is not the issue..there is a bigger issue in here...she wasnt open enough or trust you enough to tell you this ....a relationship never survives without that trust and openness..so really don't let anything cloud you judgement

    your question reminds of a movie...Valentines day (2010)

  • 9 years ago

    first of all sex on phone is not a wrong .

    try to find out that phone sex really exists.

    if she is saying true & she is doing it for money then think twice do u really love her & want to marry her then try to make her job leave then

    give her 10000$ or what ever amt she wants in a surprise pack without knowing her that u have given it.

    it can be in the form of lottery or bumper jackpot or whatever.

    can u do that or

    search a self esteem job for her in what ever field where she can enjoy her work & also get good amt.

    if u cant do all this then i think u should let her live & dont make her feel guilty.

  • 9 years ago

    a phone sex operator through text?? seems a little fishy. any ways if she is being honest about it all and about the money, id help her be more comfortable with it, with her self and with you. treat her like shes the hottest thing on earth. whisper soft dirty stuff in her ear. get her to think about u when she does it. its good money if shes tellin the truth. and technically shes not cheating. its kinda sexy in a way

  • 9 years ago

    Yeah, just because she talks to rapists dosn't mean shes a hooker. She needs th money. it's not like she is having sex with random people. Tel her not to feel bad about it.

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  • 9 years ago

    she need money, jobs are tough, i wouldn’t worry about it. its creepy old men who she’s talking to and thats nothing to worryabout

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